The post about My World was difficult to write. It made me feel vulnerable. It also made me wonder why I feel the need to be thankful for people who are not insensitive and unkind to my children.
Instead of being grateful for the times people behaved well, I’m grateful for the times people did not behave badly. It seems like the same thing, but the focus is different.
The times when people are not close-minded, rude, indifferent, or mean are so few.
I’ve always tried to change the way things are. Now I question myself. Should I continue to try to educate and enlighten people? Should I try to change the world in some small way? Or should I concentrate my efforts on home and prepare my children to venture out into this world?
I never felt like this was a decision I had to make. I foolishly thought I could do both. Why, now, do I feel like I have to choose?
My Sunday thoughts in 200 words or less.
Lemon Shark 
Wow, that’s a hard question. Do you have to choose?
In life, in the long run, in your overall philosophy….no, I don’t think you do. The two (or more) things you want are not at odds.
Day to day…maybe you sometimes do have to choose. It sucks, but sometimes what you want/need–for you and/or your kids–right now may be at odds with what you want/need in the long run.
So what do you do? I sure wish I had THE answer. I have only my answer. Do what you feel you must today. Know that you may feel and do something different tomorrow. You are raising two wonderful young boys. (This is not a guess–I know those boys, I see how they are growing up.) Your instincts have not been perfect, because–brace yourself–you’re human. But they have been pretty damn good. Trust yourself to do the right thing, at least most of the time. I trust you. And so do your boys, which is what really matters here.
LikeLiked by 1 person
No, I guess they aren’t at odds. Maybe it is just a day-to-day choice when, in a given situation, I do have to choose.
Thinking of what my children need now and also thinking of what they will need in the long run is sometimes too much. It’s the times I need to trust myself most that I doubt myself. Thank you for this. ❤
LikeLike
Somehow I think we are supposed to do both. Enlighten and educate the world, showing your kids the way you should be, but at the same time preparing them for a world that can be unkind.
It sounds like you are already doing a fine job at both already. You have me looking at things differently through your thought bubbles, and it is greatly appreciated. Keep doing what you are doing!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’ve been doing both — I think it’s the right thing to do. I don’t know. Am I sacrificing time helping my boys by trying to enlighten some close-minded person? I don’t know…
Thank you for your support and your encouragement. Also, I’m glad to hear that these Thought Bubbles have you viewing the world or situations differently. That’s awesome! I love writing these but it’s nice to hear that. 🙂
LikeLike
I accept the world is unfair. I accept there are people in it who do horrendous things. I accept that they do them for the most appalling and egregious of motives. But… I will continue to believe in the enlightened self interest of people meaning most people most of the time do the least harm they can. So I continue to celebrate the good stuff; I do my best to avoid/undermine/re-educate the bad stuff and I ensure that me and those I care about act with sufficient scepticism that they avoid getting unnecessarily burnt. I am one of Norah’s meliorists, I think and it has and continues to work for me. Don’t chose Sarah. Don’t spend too much time agonising about THE FUTURE. Enjoy your gorgeous boys today (inc. the big one by your side) because much as you’d like to there’s really bugger all you can do about tomorrow. It will happen, just as both shit and joy will happen. Just remember to carry an umbrella… A small consolation (well it consoles me even if it’s the cat’s cojones): the reason there’s so much grim stuff in the news is because it is news and not commonplace – that’s all the good stuff. Chin up and remember what happens if you keep looking down – the Shoe Event Horizon!
LikeLiked by 3 people
Yes, I’m certainly being a pessimist right now. I try to focus on the good stuff. But, like I said, I’m focusing on the good stuff in context of how it isn’t the bad stuff. If that makes sense. Instead of “How kind of you to praise my child” I’m thinking “How nice that you didn’t say something rude about his behavior in front of him”.
I think that “sufficient skepticism” is a good idea. I don’t want to create anxiety but cannot let them go without some knowledge that we don’t live in Candyland.
Ugh… I do agonize about The Future. And I don’t feel like I’m fully here, in the moment. Not good.
And, please, don’t get me started on the horrors of the world — that I am a full-on Hulk about. I’m just referring to my little corner of the world and how people behave in that world. I will carry an umbrella for the shit storm. Also, I will experience the joy. Thank you.
I will stop buying shoes and just carry my towel.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Always have that towel!
LikeLiked by 1 person
There’s no choice, Sarah; choose both!
I’m not sure why you are having self-doubts after your previous powerful post. You can change the world a little bit at a time, every time you remind us how to treat each other. And you can prepare your boys for the ‘real’ world by making them resilient and strong. It seems in the way that you describe them that they do not focus on the reactions of others but maintain their own sense of self and purpose. You may see (or interpret) the meanings of those whose actions are not as kind as you would like, but your boys (choose to) ignore it. We could learn a lot from them! Take heart. You are doing a great job on both counts. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m full of self-doubt at the moment. Also, disappointment in people.
There are those days when you just stand in shock at the way adults act toward children or the things they say in front of them. Maybe I’ve just had a string of those days.
I used to feel like I could change the world in some small way as well as prepare my children and now I’m doubting that. Hopefully, I’ll just get over this and keep muddling through. Thanks, Norah. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ignore them! Change what you can! You are doing a great job! Do not doubt yourself! You make the world a better place by being you! 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
I think you already are…and have!…changed the world, and more than in a small way at that!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Kristen. ❤
LikeLike
Self-doubt is a plague. You catch it from people who make you feel small. The gratitude for someone not behaving badly reflects relief that someone didn’t kick you when you were down. I had lots that troubled me when my kids were young and the greatest reward was simply focusing on my kids. You will never go wrong putting your energy and joy into them. Be bold. I also know that when we write something big, something powerful, we become vulnerable. I’ve not found a cure for self-doubt, but I push through by focusing on what matters most to me. Decorate your corner of the world with kindness and the rest of the world might catch a clue!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Geez, you’re right. Being grateful for someone not behaving badly is simply relief. I’m holding my breath all the time, just waiting for someone to do or say something unkind and when they don’t, I am relieved. I love how the comments on these Thought Bubbles make me delve deeper into the subject I’ve written about.
Thank you for your wise words and support, as always.
I think, for now, while I’m going through whatever I’m going through, I will give up the fight and focus on my boys. It feels right reading your comment to put my energy into them right now. ❤
And I will "decorate my corner of the world with kindness". 🙂 And teddy bears. 🐻
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think that in this world, we are so grateful for when someone doesn’t do anything ‘bad’ because it seems that we only hear of all the negative and horrible crap. I know that feeling of vulnerability oh so well, as you know I share some personal things on my blog, but only as far as how safe I feel about doing so. Once I hit publish, I know that I’ve done the right thing. It’s not easy though…but I do think that within our community we know just how much we can share with one another, despite it being a public forum. So far as changing the world, you are doing just that Sarah…at home, with the life you are giving your precious and beautiful boys. That is preciously how you make things better…one amazing mommy hug at a time 🙂 ❤
LikeLiked by 2 people
Knowing how much to share is key. When you share anything deep or personal, it’s bound to make you feel vulnerable. I rarely do that. I goof off and have fun on my blog usually.
I will keep in mind that I am changing the world a little bit next time I give a hug. ❤ Thank you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Googing off is good too 🙂 ❤
LikeLike
Yikes…supposed to be goofing not googing…or perhaps I’ve just made up a new word 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
If it’s already a word, I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know what it means. 😮 Let’s just say you made it up.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha…yes, let’s keep it that way, can’t afford to take any chances these days
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sometimes education takes the form of an apology — and you have no need to apologize for your children. You have witnessed people behaving badly toward you or your children. They are the ones who should apologize for their behavior, but you cannot force that apology. You will change the world by growing great men. (“Great” does not mean “typical”.) Educate people who are open to being educated, and that may not be the woman who scowls at your son.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is so true. You can’t force anyone to apologize or to be open to being educated. It doesn’t work that way. That leads to banging one’s head against the proverbial wall. For right now, I will focus on my boys and, occasionally, educate someone who is open to it. Thank you.
LikeLiked by 1 person