There are many reasons I started a blog. Not one of them was because I completely loved the idea of writing a blog. But I do have some good reasons or I wouldn’t be here.
Now that I am here and have been for over a year (What? You have?) and can actually write reasonably well (What? You can?), I realize I’ve done something wrong by being me. Not that I have any plans to change me. I don’t. And I have no desire to be the next big thing or a “Top 10” this or a “Best Of” that. I don’t.
So, high school. Right. When I was ten twenty years younger, I found myself in a similar situation. Without the hashtags. I had a little in common with the popular kids and the nerds and the trouble-makers (or whatever you called them at your school) but I didn’t fit neatly into any of those groups. I was kind of like all the Breakfast Club kids rolled into one. (Except the athlete—I won’t even pretend.)
I fit in a bit with some online groups but not fully with any specific group. I’m floundering and writing and sharing and commenting but it’s not enough. My writing is not enough. My observations, experiences, and opinions—they are not enough. I am not enough.
It was a risk, I knew that going in, to write with my true voice. There was nowhere for me to connect. But I wasn’t going to silence myself for the online world. So I took the risk.
Time is precious and, although we all have the same number of hours in each day (unless you have a Time-Turner and, oh, please share!), our time is used for different things and in different ways. I understand that. Why waste it on something that doesn’t interest you? I really understand that.
So, here I am. A girl. Standing in front of a screen, tapping on my keyboard. I’ve been writing since I could hold a pencil and will write until I die. With or without a clique. Just like high school, I’ll survive.