I dropped a bomb on Monday.
I’ve had super supportive, somewhat supportive, thought provoking, and downright disapproving comments on that post. The only thing they have in common is that they’re amazing.
I love every single one of them.
They made me think of a conversation I had with a friend of mine about validation.
Most people need it. Not many like to talk about it.
There are two types: External and Internal.
People are primarily motivated by one type of validation or the other. There are positive and negative aspects of each (which I won’t get into here).
External needs approval from the outside world.
Internal needs approval from within.
When your inside says “I look horrible”, it doesn’t matter how many people say “You look great!” Because. Internal.
Well, that’s me.
I could be at a party with 50 people all saying they love my hair and, if I don’t like it, I’d leave at the end of the night still hating my hair.
But just because I’m an Internal Val kind of gal doesn’t mean I don’t want to get compliments on my hair. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to get lovely comments from my readers.
Although my validation comes from within, I still value others’ opinions.
It’s not where I live—I don’t need it in order to feel good enough. However, I appreciate it because it causes me to reflect, to look at myself or a situation in a different light. (Also, it’s nice to hear.)
I always love the comments from my readers; they are interesting, thought-provoking, funny, and helpful. But I am truly touched by the comments from my friends on that post. A heartfelt thanks to you all for taking the time to share, support, and commiserate.
So I dropped a blog bomb and it blew up in my comment section. (In a good way.)
Also, behind the scenes, I received quite a few unexpected phone calls, emails, tweets, and DMs.
There was a lot of serendipity.
I’m in the eye of the storm, I believe. Because things have calmed a bit, giving me a chance to think more clearly. But there are dark clouds headed my way.
See you on the other side.
My Sunday thoughts in (a bit over) 200 words.
Do you think about validation? Are you an Internal or External? Do you get your validation from yourself or others?
Update: I was just today reminded of this post by Gulara Vincent: When Quitting is Healthy. Her post is more goal-oriented than giving up on a dream but it’s similar in that quitting can sometimes be a positive thing. It’s definitely worth a read.