Blog Happy

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Misery loves company? Perhaps.

 

Sarah B. Mr Men books - sig

 

Does company love it back? Not sure.

I don’t think blog visitors do.

So, when hit with a prolonged period of illness or an unfortunate series of events, what’s a blogger to do?

When you are miserable, do you put that aside and smile for the keyboard or do you discuss what’s going on?

I suppose this depends on what type of blog you have.

I’ve hinted at my health issues, talked about writing crises, and touched on the fact that life isn’t so swell at the moment. But dwell? Meh. That’s boring. Maybe annoying.

Should I talk about spring? I suppose.

I don’t want to be Miss Doom and Gloom (and not just because it’s a silly name) but I’m also sort of irritated by Shiny Happy People. So I will write this:

Start climbing.

As the saying goes, when you are at the bottom, or damn near it, there are only two ways to go—sideways and up. Okay, the saying doesn’t go like that but it’s funny. Unless you’re in something so narrow you can’t possibly move sideways. Then it’s mean.

I guess the best idea is to mention and move on.

 

Thanks to my childhood collection of Mr. Men books, I know that, when life is messy, you can grumble a bit but then you’ve got to be cheerful and not grumpy then blog happy. I know. That’s totally weird. But that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

 

My Sunday thoughts in 200 words or less.

ThoughtBubble

 

Do you write about real-life issues on your blog? Or do you pretend all is well and just publish your next post?


68 thoughts on “Blog Happy”

  1. Sarah, I’m sorry that things are not going great for you. You have mentioned your health issues, and your writing crisis. You definitely seem to have hit a bumpy patch. I think it’s probably true that how much we reveal on our blog depends upon what type of blog it is. Some people tell all. The writing and sharing may help them understand where they are and help them to cope, even find answers. As much as I share my thoughts about various issues, I try not to be too personal and reveal all the daily ups and downs. I am happy for others to share, as some do. We can’t offer support if we don’t know. I think you should do what you feel comfortable with. Take care my friend. Sending hugs your way. Feel free to use them as you need. I’m sorry they’re only air hugs. xx

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    • Yes. A bumpy patch. It’s stretching out in front of me as far as I can see. Well, at least on here, I’m moving on.

      Completely agree this all depends on what type of blog you have and what type of personality you have. So, in fairness, this wasn’t a fair question. 😉 I have seen bloggers get very personal. And that’s their space and willingness to do so. I do share, as you know, but try, as you do, not to get too personal. Sharing what we feel comfortable with is always a good idea. Thanks, Norah. ❤

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  2. I do both. I find it relaxing to post. It is an outlet and I can lose myself in the creativity of whatever it is. However, some posts are more amenable to life truth such as my coffee posts and there I do say what is happening in my day to day. Right or wrong? Don’t know, don’t care. People can read or ignore those posts that contain information that they don’t want to know but for personal posts, for me, if it isn’t honest then it is not worthwhile.

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    • I love the thought of posting being relaxing for you. ❤

      "if it isn't honest then it is not worthwhile." So true. If you have a blog space that allows for personal stuff, it should be authentic. It doesn't need to go beyond your comfort zone but, if you write it, it should be genuine. I do tend to lose myself in posts sometimes as my style is sort of stream of consciousness. I was thinking some blogs are more suited to personal issues but, you are so right, some posts are more suited to personal issues, too. Like the coffee shares. I also love your attitude of "Don't know, don't care." Because you shouldn't. Your blog is wonderful and many enjoy it but you do so that's the thing, isn't it?

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  5. I do both, actually. Sometimes I write something happy-go-lucky to get into that mindset or improve the current one, and sometimes I write something very real. Although I’m writing for an audience, at the base of it all, I’m writing to me, what I need to hear to keep giving my best. For the longest time I vented a lot and it often didn’t improve my mood or outlook because I ranted and was cynical and just anger word vomited. It helped momentarily but it’s like putting a towel on a leak, eventually the towel can’t soak any more. That’s when I shifted mindsets and changed to write something that could help me be a better me by sorting the true wreckage that is inside and it helped. Do I still vent? Well let’s put it this way, I have a blog I don’t advertise, a Twitter account most people don’t know about or don’t know it’s me and a couple of notebooks I don’t read what I write in. 😀 Cheers to you and may kinder winds fill your sails.

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    • You’re a happy-go-lucky guy who happens to be very real. That’s why. I know, all too well, the ranting and venting, but you’re right. I mean, sometimes we need to vent but I love your idea of shifting mindset. ❤

      Now I'm wicked curious about this Twitter account… 😉 (And I have notebooks, too. I mean, pfft, who doesn't?) Thanks, J.D.

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  6. Oh, How I can relate to this post… especially ATM. Having been very unwell this past month, both physically and mentally I have pondered all of the above. … In my case I found myself unable to blog, and even unable to post a quickie to explain my absence, because my ‘yuk’ was too big to fit a quickie…and because I really didn’t (don’t) know where to start. The result has been a month away from my blog, without so much as a ‘Back-Soon’… and now… I’m finding it difficult to jump back in to the bloggy world. I think because I feel I do need to write about the yuk, and (as you say) am worried that it’s all a bit TOO doom-and-gloom. So, for now, I’m baby-stepping… a quote last week and (hopefully) the doom-and-gloom next week. Because sometimes the doom-and-gloom needs to be told… needs to be heard. *sighs*.

    Thank you for sharing. I hope this coming week is a more spring than doom-and-gloom for you. Kimmie.

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    • I only posted 5 times last year Kimmie. Just take the pressure off or it eats at you like another thing on the “must, ought and should list”. Or find something left of field to post about so you have some creativity going but don’t feel you have to justify why you’re absent or not. Just saying ‘things have been tricky’ is enough for anyone with any empathy to give you a by to the next round 😀

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    • I’m glad people can relate but I’m also sorry they can relate. If that makes sense. I guess some people like to post about their troubles as it eases them, others feel they shouldn’t or simply can’t. I wouldn’t worry (at all) about explaining yourself. Pfft! No. If you WANT to blog again, and only then, start with some freewriting or a haiku or something just to get some words on the page and get your blog going again. Or take some photos and post those. (Maybe post on Wordless Wednesday?) Your quotes sound like a great idea. I see a lot of those, too. I know what you mean. It feels weird to post too much doom-and-gloom but also feels a bit weird to post about puppies and rainbows when you’re surrounded by negativity.

      Thanks, Kimmie. ❤ Be well. And post a haiku and/or photo for me this weekend. Let's say it's due by Monday. 🙂

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  7. I sometimes touch on not-so-positive life stuff, but not very often – it’s just something I choose to keep to myself. However, your blog is your voice, and so it’s completely up to you to share whatever you choose. Hope things turn brighter for you soon xx

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  8. I don’t really share problems, such as I have them because the chances are they involve people I care for and I don’t think it’s my place to discuss them on the blog. And if it is just me then I doubt anyone will be interested and/or I don’t enjoy sympathy aimed at me so prefer hey don’t knife to sympathise. That of course doesn’t cover life’s sillies like losing my house keys as I’m fair game then.

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    • Exactly. I feel like it’s really not my place to include issues involving other people. And, let’s face it, most of them do. Except for the occasional kitchen drawer mishap. 😉 Or lost keys. For me, anything writing-related is fair game. Also, some bits of health info. But, like you, I’m not sure anyone is really all that interested in my woes.

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  9. I always write from the heart. But that’s what my blog is for. It’s pretty much a display case for my heart.
    But I have to believe that some people just keep writing and choose not to let the rest of the world know how miserable they are.
    Pain is life and life is pain. But it’s never painful all the time.
    I find nothing wrong at all if someone happens to be deep in the mire of pain most of the time and they want to let the rest of the world know how much it sucks. Because I hope that writing about it helps them!

    I was reminded of a song, though, that my kids liked and it’s still stuck in my head after all these years:

    If you want to be a grump
    That’s ok.
    But could you be a grump a little further away?
    It’s not that I don’t love you Cuz you know I do..
    Sometimes I’m grumpy too.

    🙂 happy sunday, Sarah.
    #mast ❤

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    • A display case for your heart! I love it! Your blog is definitely that, my friend. ❤
      I think a lot of people blog through issues. And a lot don't. (Your "life is pain" makes me think of the Princess Bride so thank you for that giggle: "Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.”)

      Fantastic song, Eric. I’ll have to remember that one. 🙂 Thank you. #mast

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  10. I tend to stick to writing-related stuff on my blog. I’m a pretty private person, and I don’t think people need to hear about my issues when they’ve got their own. Right? I don’t know. But that’s the way it is.

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      • I think, even when you are a private person, there are some things you are comfortable sharing, and some things, not. Those things are maybe different for different people.

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      • Absolutely. (And, if I didn’t think so before, I just need to look at the variety of comments.) Levels of comfort are for sure different for different people. I’m going to keep skimming… 😉

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  11. I just write about real life issues. I wrote whatever I’m feeling that day, or publish an entry I’ve been sorting though and working on over a period of time. It is what it is! Life is a myriad of emotions and I want to embrace them all!

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    • You are so right. Life is full of all sorts of different emotions and I love that you embrace all of them. 🙂 It’s great how some people use blogs to work through things. Real life has, you know, real life issues.

      I often write what I’m feeling that day (or a few days earlier) which is why scheduling posts doesn’t work for me.

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      • Well, I’m glad I found you! I very much enjoy what you share. I’m sorry you’ve had a difficult time recently.

        I don’t ever schedule them either. It just comes out when it come out!

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      • Yeah, scheduled posts would be really nice. Save me time and stress. But when you post as you’re inspired, that makes it a little tough. Glad I found you, too! Thanks. 🙂

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  13. Sorry you’re still on a downer, but I see the flashes are continuing to sparkle and probably lots more.
    The answer to your question, as others have said, is that it depends what kind of face your blog is trying to show. Is it personal? Is it professional? Is it a bit of both? I guess many of us are learning on the job.

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    • Thanks, Anne. Yes, I am loving working on my fiction right now. Flashes and all. Completely agree about the type of blog you write and what you are trying to show. There are a lot of bloggers who really can’t answer this question. If they have a food blog or a film blog (see the lovely Silver Screenings below), it would just be weird to talk about themselves – happy or not. And, even with “personal” blogs, you’re right. How are bloggers trying to present themselves?

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  14. The Mr Men books! Awesome! I’d forgotten about those.

    My blog has preserved my sanity. A while ago I was going through a really bad time, so having something like a blog to focus on was crucial. It helped me forget – for a while – what was going on because it was unrelated to the situation. I’m a simple person; thinking of things to say about classic movies makes me happy.

    I hope your life gets back to being swell soon. 🙂

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    • I dug those Mr Men books out a few years ago only to be delighted that my youngest likes them. So nostalgic. ❤

      That is another fab use for a blog. Sanity. Sanity is good. Some say it helps them when they write about issues, but some say it helps them take focus off negative crap. You have a specific focus for your blog so it's awesome that you have something to take your mind off other things. I love that your blog makes you happy. I always love hearing that from bloggers.

      I hope so, too. Thanks! 🙂

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    • I do mention issues on here but, like you, I really don’t get into much detail. True that living it in real life is difficult enough. Although, for some, it’s cathartic to write about it. For me, it’s uncomfortable so I touch on what’s going on and try to move on. At least online. Thanks, Allie. ❤ I hope so, too.

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    • Yeah, completely agree. I think people can get bored or annoyed when bloggers write a lot about their issues but, on the other hand, sometimes it resonates and they connect with it, feeling less alone. Eh, I don’t know. Like you, I mention things in passing but discuss them with friends and family in real life.

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  17. Since the poems and other writings I post are composed just before posting, wherever my head and heart (and spirit) are at the moment will be infused into the text, whether I wish it to be otherwise. I don’t gravitate too closely to what might be deemed “confessional poetry” so I may be tackling an uplifting poem when I am in foul mood or a bleak poem when I am in good spirits. In this way the writing can have an impact on me in more nuanced ways beyond what just putting my feelings out there would do. Yet what is key is that I and every other blogger seek authenticity (that impossibility?), whatever the form or genre used, whether writing flash fiction or a personal “diary” post.

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    • I write a lot of my posts just before posting (or within a day or two) so I understand a little. Your posts, poetry mostly, read very much like a genuine peek inside where you are living at the moment. They are so poignant and genuine. It’s interesting that you can write outside your mood, though. Even more that you impact your own moods by writing something you’re not feeling at the time. You are authentic, either way. It shows in your writing. 🙂

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      • just pondering the notion of writing outside of one’s mood. i think there is a point in which one can’t go against the grain too much. sometimes there are poems that i hold off writing because i’m not in the right “mood” to tackle the topic in the way that I think it deserves.

        since i like to complicate things, i think there is also surface moods and sub-surface moods. sometimes i wake up in foul mood, but if i stop and breathe so to speak, i find that i’m actually deep down in a good place. sometimes writing can help tap into that, so that for instance i can discover that while i’m seemingly doing okay, there is some issue that is simmering under the surface.

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      • I do love to ponder. Also, fun to complicate things. 🙂 I enjoy that myself.
        So, yes, especially with poetry I’d imagine but, really, lots of writing, I can see the surface showing ripples when it’s actually calm underneath or being calm on the surface with the water churning underneath. Writing helps me discover that probably better than any other thing in my life.

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  18. Good question. I mention some stuff. I avoid the stuff that involves other people. But the writing issues are why I am online so that can get very personal – but it’s also feeling like a risk because of the way readers can sometimes misunderstand! If it was THAT bad, I wouldn’t share it! It’s only a blog. It shouldn’t be a glass window onto your whole life unless that is a specific aim.
    Blah blah blah! – I hope I don’t go on about it too much! (No squeak about the bad back for ages)
    I think there’s always a danger readers would get compassion fatigue if any of us went on and on about the same thing but being authentic also means you have to write some rough with the smooth or you seem like a Disney flake. I can’t stand those happy ever after types or totally inhuman anonymouses!
    Sending love, keep on writing ❤️

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    • Yes. The personal stuff is why you’re on here so it only makes sense for you and for your blog. But, no, it shouldn’t be a glass window. I haven’t squeaked or squawked about my back in ages, either. *high five* Ouch.
      LOL! “compassion fatigue”! That’s what I meant but I love the way you’ve worded it. No Disney flakes here, lovely lady. This is genuine, certified (or certifiable) me. You know how much I adore those Shiny Happy People! 🙂 🙂 🙂 (I don’t like them much in real life, either, honestly. That’s probably not very nice but we’re being authentic here.) You definitely need to put in some of the rough stuff in order to stay authentic. Again, if you’re comfortable and it fits in with your blog. It would be weird to read about a bad back on a food blog. Just saying.

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  19. A bit of both, perhaps? I’m generally a private person and have slipped a couple of times into personal though I find it an uncomfortable path, and one that I don’t want to travel too far down, but let’s see. I think you have to lead with your heart, (I felt driven to), however, bear in mind that people are generally supportive and can read between the lines, (there are clues), when people are not at their best, but as soon as you can – for your own sake – create forward-looking content which will help to give you a positive focus. Trust that a lot of people do resonate with people facing difficult times. Those lucky souls who haven’t, are very lucky indeed. With every good wish to you 🙂

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    • Isn’t it odd how many private people are blogging? 🙂 A lot of the comments say so and I am as well. So I’ve mentioned things, like you said, but not traveled too far down that road. You make a really good point here. A few, actually. That readers can generally tell when you’re not at your best anyway, without you saying anything. And that for your own sake, whether you mention it or not, you “create forward-looking content which will help give you a positive focus.” ❤ Thank you.

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      • Your welcome! Though I feel certain you already know this; its just that we all have to be reminded from time to time, particularly if we’re in the midst of it all. Its not always possible, though, to feel positive- what we mustn’t do is give ourselves a hard time about that as well. 🙂

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      • We do need to be reminded. At least I do. I can sneak in some positive thoughts but I’m really bad about being hard on myself. I give myself a hard time about a lot of things. That’s where I’ve tripped up. I need to be on the lookout for that. ❤ Thank you for the reminder.

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  20. I’ll blog about things that aren’t happy, like getting rear-ended, my husband losing his job, and other crappy stuff that happens. But I make it a point to avoid topics that might cast friends or family in a negative light. If I have any frustrations or fall outs there, they stay off the blog. The Internet lasts forever, and I don’t want anything coming back to bite me. 😉

    As far as being happy on my blog, well, that’s just because I live a charmed life. ❤

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    • I was mulling over it this morning in the shower, and I realized that referring to my life as charmed might sound like bragging, which is annoying and far from my intention. I can be sickeningly optimistic at times, but I certainly don’t want to turn people off.

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      • I thought you meant you were the other long-lost sister with witchy powers. You burst my bubble. 😉
        Also, I was going to say you were optoomuchstic. (It’s a well-known problem documented in one of my favorite series: Incorrigible Children of Ashton Place.)

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    • You live a charmed life because you’re so damn charming. ❤
      That's mostly what I do. I blog about "unhappy" stuff but not if it includes other people or deep issues. Fender benders, job issues, and other crap is fair game – agreed. It's life.

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  22. Sorry you are finding it tough! I think writing about whether you should write about it is probably the exact way to deal with it. There are certain unfortunate people I know who DO blog on and on about their depression and how they can’t cope. Yep, I sympathise – have had clinical dep since age 9, done the therapy, drugs, been sectioned route. (Old age does seem to cure it), but I rarely mention it. With the cancer — blogged retrospectively… I also think HAVING to write a blog post helps to create distance between you and what ails you. So well done. You got lot of comments and hits, so that must say something.

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    • This is awesome: “writing about whether you should write about it is probably the exact way to deal with it.” 🙂 I often overthink things or write about doing them instead of just doing them. I live in my head. I think too much. Eh. I’m okay with that.

      Yes, I’ve seen those blogs, too. Some people like to write their way through things and others like to write as a means to escape things (for a time, anyway). Like you said, creating a certain distance between you and what ails you. I guess it really depends on the person and the type of blog and what the blogger is trying to accomplish by publishing online. Well, thank you, Carol. Much appreciated. ❤

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  23. *hugs* Still wish I could meet up with you and we could go for coffee/tea whatever and I could give you a hug in real life. I get this. I so get this. I do post life stuff (sometimes) and I always wonder if readers think I’m too mopey, too depressed, too into myself, too… whatever. You know.

    I often get a comment to the effect of “you posting this helps me, or might help someone else struggling with the same thing.” So there’s that.

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    • That would be wonderful. Some day… It is tough, isn’t it? I mean, on the one hand, you don’t want to go on and on because it seems like ranting or complaining but, on the other hand, it’s just weird to post about spring flowers when you’re taking a leisurely stroll through hell. So, yes, I post it sometimes, too, but then think I should stop this now (even if I’m not through hell yet).

      Yes, I agree. Sometimes someone will say, “Oh! I’m so glad I’m not alone.” And that’s awesome. But how long to continue? As long as you’re dealing with an issue or enough is enough?

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  24. It’s a tricky one but in my posts I will not mention personal problems/grief however I have made comments on other blogs at times when it is relevant and received very warm and comforting comments back from people I consider friends. Oh, I loved Mr Men and happily re-read them with my son when he was little. BTW you have a great blog! 😀

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    • Ah! Good point. Yes, I’ve done the same. I mention things here but don’t get too deep into them or dwell but, on other blogs, I will definitely comment if the post calls for it. Hmm. Interesting.

      Yeah, Mr. Men books are so nostalgic. 🙂 Thank you!

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