The “Yes” Mess

 

 

When you say yes to every request, you’re going to have a real problem. Because, sooner or later, you’re going to ask yourself, “How did I get into this mess?”

You, sweet stuff. You are how you got into this mess. No reason to play the blame game. Okay, lets play. Tag. You’re it. You’re to blame. You did this.

You probably didn’t know it would turn out to be so:

  • Time-consuming
  • Annoying
  • Boring
  • Frustrating
  • Difficult
  • Time-consuming

But…would that have stopped you?

If you had known, what would you have done?

When faced with someone asking for your help or a favor (big or small) are you able to say, “no”? If not, that’s something you really ought to think about.

Which I am. Actually, I’ve been thinking about it a lot. As you’ll see in my post tomorrow.

This has been called many things including “the disease to please”. Catchy, huh? Literally and figuratively. FYI: I have this disease so use Purell when you’re done reading, just to be safe.

Until tomorrow, gentle readers.

 

My Sunday thoughts in 200 words or less.

ThoughtBubble

Do you say “yes” to every request? Where does that leave you?

 

 

 

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35 thoughts on “The “Yes” Mess

  1. Oh yes, the disease to please! As I’ve gotten older, I’ve had less of a problem saying no, but when I do, I’m still met with a bewildered reaction from the asker. When we ask someone to do something, are we ready for them to say no? I don’t think so and so we are conditioned to assume the person will say yes. So it comes from both ends!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I wish I could say the same. I thought, as I got older, it would magically be easier. It’s not. I always expect people to say no so I rarely ask! 😀 (I also don’t want to bother people who I think might say yes when they really should be saying no.) You’ve got me thinking of another entire post, my dear. Geez. I’m definitely in a mess here.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I always say yes because I’m handy with tools and I know how to fix things. I feel that saying no would leave my family and friends with either a continuing problem or a repair bill. I know I’m often just being used, and it takes away from my hobby time, but I feel useful.

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  3. Oh, I am looking forward to the follow up. I’ve gotten much better at saying no to favors I know I will regret, but by better I mean I might say no three out of ten times instead of one out of ten.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ah, yes, the yes mess. It can be an entanglement with clients, too. Consider this: you know what your client is asking is not the best option, but your suggestions go unheard. You say yes to it all, but then they​ don’t like the end product for all the reasons you knew it wouldn’t work. If you had said no, they would have hired someone else. That’s a yes mess. Sigh. And clever phrasing, Sarah!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Oh, the disease to please. I’m 80% cured, Sarah, but it took years of suffering and squeaking out the “no” word. These days, because I say “no” a lot, I actually have time to say, “yes” now and then. 🙂 I hope you have a chance to say “no” to something today!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Ha! 80% cured. Well, that’s something. 🙂 It’s good to know (not good, really, but reassuring) that you went through a process of squeaking out the “no” before you could boldly (and frequently) say it. I’m hoping…

      Liked by 1 person

    • Agreed. It can wind up being very bad, indeed. I talk about that a in my next post about saying no. Without research, I’m just going with my gut that letting our stuff take a back seat to other people’s stuff is, in Lemon Shark Clinical Terms, “bad”. I have no answers but I’m trying.

      Like

  6. Unfortunately, I’m one of those people that say yes to everything. I’m a chronic people-pleaser. And I know that not everyone will like or appreciate the things I do for them. But I fear rejection a lot. I’m trying to rid myself of that facet of my being. It’s hard to do, but I have to in order to be a happier person.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ugh…chronic. See, when this disease is chronic it’s SO much more difficult. Because you are in the Yes Mess but, in addition, those around you expect you to say yes because they’ve never seen you do anything else.

      Completely agree getting rid of this would make you happier but, like you said, it’s not easy. Small steps may be best. That’s what I’m trying.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I try not to, but I have a hard time saying no- natural born people pleaser. At one time I was raising two kids, one who had daily football practice, one who had cheer practice a couple of times a week, working full time, going to school full time, and I still said yes to be the “team mom” which consisted of organizing t-shirt orders, jersey order, trophy orders, water and snacks, contact information and countless other things for upwards of 50 kids. I didn’t think I would make it through it!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m cringing just reading all that. People-pleasing is detrimental to our health. That’s my take on it. Health and happiness can’t exist alongside stress and overwhelm (which is often the result of people-pleasing). Glad you made it through but maybe think about the “team mom” mess next time you’re about to agree to something. Could help. ?

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Pingback: The “Yes Mess” by Lemon Shark – Drawing on Words

  9. I’ve learned to just make myself so busy, nobody asks me for anything anymore. Except my children, they are constantly asking, “Mama, can I have juice please? Mama, can I go out back? Mama, can I…?”

    Liked by 1 person

    • Huh. That doesn’t work for me. I am so ridiculously busy, no one could mistake me for someone with free time. I even mess up my hair and make my eyes REALLY wide to look super frazzled so people leave me alone. But they don’t. And kids…well…you could be crumpled in the floor and they’d ask you for juice. Just saying.

      Like

    • It’s awful, isn’t it? I get stuck in the Yes Mess too often.

      I don’t know how helpful the Art of Saying No post is. I just write out loud here, work through stuff, and throw in my non-professional LSCT (Lemon Shark Clinical Terms) like “not good” and “bad idea” and so forth. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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