Blurbs, am I right? They’re the scourge of the writing world. A plague. They must be destroyed.
Blurbs are the bane of every author’s existence. (At least mine. And it’s my blog so I say OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!)
Also, I’ll add, intros. Ugh. Though not quite as bad as blurbs, intros are pretty awful. I have a whole post on rejected book intros that’s totally worth reading. It’s sad and kind of hilarious and 100% true.
Here’s a snippet from that post (which could definitely work for blurbs):
During this time of lunacy when I was alienating friends and forcing family to disown me, I came up with some real doozies.
The following introductions are real. They were not written for your amusement. But I thought I would share them with you in case you are amused. It’s okay, you can totally be embarrassed for me.
- I like writing. I don’t like spiders. I made a book. Read it.
- I think I’d rather become dinner for the Swamp Thing than continue working on this foreword. Which is ridiculous because the Swamp Thing protects people (and is probably a vegetarian).
- Short fiction is like dark chocolate. It’s pure cocoa with no fillers. A small piece is rich and satisfying.
- I don’t like writing bios, forewords, or introductions. Actually, I don’t care for anything that requires me to tell readers about myself or my work.
- This pumpkin spice stuff is seriously getting out of control. Here’s a book with NO pumpkin spice in it.
- I’ve missed meals, skipped family outings, remained unshowered for
twofive days, typed until my eyes were sand paper and my fingers bled, developed headaches that laughed at Tylenol, and alienated many friends with my writer moods. I do hope you appreciate all that went into this book and that you will take pity on me and read it. - I triple dog dare you not to read this book!
- This is a collection of mini stories… But, wait! There’s more! No, there isn’t. But mini stories are fun and delicious. Like those little cupcakes with sprinkles that you can eat a bunch of without having to explain yourself to anybody because they expect you to eat more than one.
- Will this torment never cease?!!!
- I’m seriously considering finding a vampire and asking it (“him”? or “her”?) to turn me so I have an excuse to not finish this intro. No, seriously. Now I’m wondering. What is the correct pronoun for creatures of the night? Are they “it” or do you refer to them by the gender they were before they were bitten? And, technically, they are still that gender. Regardless, if I were a turned into a vampire it would require some adjustment on my part. Would that be an acceptable reason for not including an introduction to this collection?
- There is nothing (not one thing) in this book that mentions the United States political system, the election, or the candidates.
- Short fiction is known by many names. Flash, sudden, postcard, micro, hint… Hint fiction. Get it? Hinting at Shadows does hint at darkness but it’s also hint fiction. Cool, huh? *nudge* *nudge* *wink* *wink* Know what I mean?
- I’d rather be watching Harry Potter.
- If I write any more introductions, there’s a real possibility I will spontaneously combust.
Titles? Now that’s a different ball of wax. I love titles. Titles for books, blog posts, short stories, flash… Titles are wonderful. Delightful. Magically delicious. (And easy. And fun. Have I mentioned I love them?)
What say you, gentle readers? Can you write blurbs easily? (If so, I don’t like you anymore. Kidding. But do comment because I may hire you.) What about titles? How easy or difficult are those for you?
IWSG Question of the Month
November Prompt – Which is more difficult–coming up with a title for your book or writing the blurb?
IWSG (Insecure Writer’s Support Group)
This post is part of IWSG , a monthly blog hop/prompt started by Alex J Cavanaugh.
I really don’t understand the problem with blurbs. One of the most important things that we should get right, and almost impossible to do. Must be a cruel joke…
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They feel like a cruel joke. Truly.
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I don’t understand why they are so hard to write…
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There’s no room for error. And it’s the first thing people see (in terms of writing) to make a judgment about your book.
There’s a reason “Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a thing and “Don’t judge a book by its blurb” is not a thing. That’s exactly what they’re for. Blurbs scream: “Judge me! I am written by the person who wrote what is inside these covers! If you don’t like me, put the book down. Now!”
That’s a lot of pressure. 😉
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Terrifying, really…
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These were hilarious! As for titles, I usually start with any ol’ working title then let potential titles brew in the back of my mind until something rises to the surface.
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Ah, the old “working title”. Yeah, I’ve used that though not often. It’s a good plan and, oftentimes, the title emerges from a phrase or bit of dialogue. Rises to the surface, as it were. 🙂
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Sarah, if it is any consolation, I know you hate to write them, but as a reader, I do read the cover flap. My wife and I browse old bookstores and we will pick up a book by author, subject matter, or clever title, but we do read the summary. Sometimes we are disappointed, but often we are not. I must confess the best source is the book store owner, who often will hold book club meetings in these small towns. I recall one recommending two books we would not have picked up – “A Man called Ove” about a curmudgeon and “The Only Woman in the Room” about the actress and inventor Hedy Lamarr. They were outstanding. So, thank you for writing them. Keith
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Don’t get me wrong. Blurbs are important but I find them so challenging to write. I read them as well and base buying decisions on them but, often, I read the first line/paragraph before making a decision. I’m a huge fan of first lines. (The Hedy Lamarr book sounds fascinating.)
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Sarah, thanks. The Hedy Lamarr book is a fictional representation of a factual story. She received a Medal of Freedom for an invention that is present in every cell phone, but she initially designed it to help guide torpedos in WWII. As a woman, you can appreciate how her ideas were demeaned and diminished because she was a woman and a beautiful actress. It is well worth the read. Keith
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You are so funny! Thanks for making my morning brighter!!🤗
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You are very welcome. My pain is fair game here. If I can make someone chuckle, it was worth it. 😉
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I’m the same way, Sarah.
High five!
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It’s a good way to be.
*high fives*
*misses*
*slams hand into wall*
“I’m okay!”
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Great post! I love your sense of humor and I chuckled quite a few times. Happy IWSG Day 🙂
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Thanks! 🙂 (Can’t believe it’s the first week of November already but Happy IWSG day to you, too.) Thanks for co-hosting!
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Considering I title my chapters, I think it’d be funny if I had trouble titling my books. (I don’t, and I agree blurbs are terrible beasts.)
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I like chapter titles. They’re back in style, apparently. (Did they go out of style? I don’t know. But I just read a post that they’re back in so maybe.) And, yes, that would be…not funny but inconvenient if you had trouble with titles. Blurbs are beasts but I recall you’re fairly good at them. 🙂
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These are actually very funny, Sarah, except for not showering for 5 days. That would be impossible for me, how would I ever think up a blurb if I didn’t shower. The shower is where the best story ideas are born. I get help with my blurbs.
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😂 That’s true!
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I wrote a blurb last week. My crit group trashed it, so I have to start over.
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I’m sorry, this made me laugh. I’m in a mood, I guess. It’s not funny. Blurbs are the worst. Even worse when you think you got it and…not so much. Nice to have a crit group that’s honest, though.
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I’ll worry about it when the weekend comes.
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So if you’re not going to use the one about spiders – I can totally use that one. And the rest of them are really good, so you don’t really need that one, right? But the one about not telling readers about myself comes in a close second! 😆
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I don’t need it and it would totally work in the right book. Go for it. 🕷🕸🕷 (Please. And let me know so I can read it.)
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You need to write a book of intros with a ‘speaks for itself’ opening. It’ll exorcise all those ghosts.
As for blurbs these the literary equivalent of trips to the dental hygenist: unexpectedly painful.
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😂 Blurbs are literary dental appointments! That’s hilarious. And true. I like the idea of a little collection of rejected intros and blurbs. That might be fun.
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I wonder where rejected blurbs and intros go. Do you think they mate and spawn maudlin self indulgent poetry about the iniquities of grammar and the tyranny of punctuation?
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Oh, Geoff, I miss your comments. They are a true delight. 😊 Thanks for the much-needed smile.
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Delighted to perk up your mouth corners..
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I’m with you on the pumpkin spice thing. They put it in just about everything, whether it makes sense or not. Ditto for the U.S. political system. I’ll buy pretty much anything that doesn’t have pumpkin spice and/or politics in it.
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Yeah, it was quite the overload of pumpkin and politics at the time I wrote that. I actually like some pumpkin-spiced things but there has to be a limit. It seems everything is pumpkin-spiced now. Won’t someone please think of the children!
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A pox upon blurbs! I get my editor to write mine because I’m so bad at them. But I love your intros – would totally make me read your book. Maybe you should write my next one.
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Gah! Bite your tongue. 😝
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I think blurbs are a pain in the bum and a real skill so the two go hand in hand 🙂
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It is a skill. A form. Like poetry. It needs to be practiced and developed along with a natural ability to write this kind of thing. 🤷🏻♀️
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Yes I agree… It’s just not something one does often lol
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Lol, loved this. I don’t mind writing blurbs and titles always come so easy to me too. Girl! ❤
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You don’t? Really? How? Why? How? 😉 Lucky (and talented) you. 💖
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Lol, give me a shout when you’re stuck ❤
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I just might… 😉
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You know where to find me 🙂 x
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🙂 💖
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I love LOVE the intros, especially the one that throws itself on the reader’s mercy.
I like writing blurbs (and intros), but titles are my achilles heel. I struggle with those things, and am never happy with ’em. Titles seem to be so effortless for some people, and I admire that. I’ve sometimes published a blog post and changed the headline 2-3 times. (I’m serious!)
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Thanks. They’re funny now. 😉 I was really struggling then.
Ooh! Let’s trade! Pretty please with a cherry on top??? I’ll write your titles if you write my blurbs! (Although…the titles on your blog are always so good. I think I’d be getting the better end of that deal.)
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Hey Sarah – these are great, seriously. I get to know you a bit, just by what you say, rather than the standard bland book blurbs that tend to all run together. Thanks for sharing them and don’t change!
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Ha! Never. I’ll never change. Thanks, Barbara. 💖💖💖
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Those are awesome intros, Sarah. You could easily write comedy. Blurbs… ugh. I find them extremely difficult to write. I think most of us struggle with them, so you’re not alone.
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That’s the Light/Dark side of Sarah. It’s kind of weird. Is it helpful to know I’m in good company. Not that I want others to struggle but knowing I’m not alone. Doesn’t get the blurb written, but it helps my sanity. Somewhat. 😉
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