My One Word for 2023 #OneWord2023

It’s that time of year again. My annual visit from… 

The Posts of New Year’s Past: 👻 🥳 🎊 🎉

Ebenezer Scrooge and I both learned a thing or three and are determined to change our ways. After the visit from The Posts of New Year’s Past, I reflected a bit on the last six years and realized I haven’t done a very good job with the One Word thing. Best laid plans and all that. 

One Word for 2022 was: Embrace. I love the idea of playing an active role in accepting. The idea of leaning into the discomfort and even, if possible, welcoming it. And, honestly, I did a decent job of it. For some things. Other things are difficult to damn near impossible to embrace, if we’re truth-telling. (And we are.)

One Word for 2021 was: Allow. This one was awesome. It worked SO well. I allowed ALL OF THE THINGS. I didn’t struggle, fight, flail, or falter. (My sarcasm didn’t translate well here. So, the only thing I allowed was badly-written sarcasm.) 

One Word for 2020 was: Focus. Focus on one thing at a time to avoid overwhelm? Fab plan, lady. Alas…

One Word for 2019 was: Move. Getting unstuck was sort of the idea. I’m still stuck but heartily sorry for it and flailing for a helping hand out of the pit.

One Word for 2018 was: Self. It was a good choice. It worked. A little. Some of the time. Not as often as I’d hoped.

One Word for 2017 was Accept. I did not accept anything. I sort of UN-accepted pretty much everything. I faltered. Failed. Moved on.

Some years, I’ve struggled to find a word. Some years, it popped into my head, and I knew it was the one. Other years, I’ve enjoyed the experience of mulling over various choices. This year… Well, this year my mind was blank. Completely blank.

It happened a few days ago, before I’d even brewed my morning coffee. I was thinking about the day ahead, the week ahead, the year ahead, and I basically and completely overwhelmed myself with the crushing amount of ALL OF THE THINGS headed my way.

I told myself to breathe. And then… Well, there you have it. Or, actually, there I have it. 

My focus word for 2023:

BREATHE

No matter what is going on, no matter what is happening, no matter what I’m dealing with…taking a moment to breathe is always, always, helpful. It doesn’t change or fix anything, but it helps. Truly and always.

If I can focus on breathing whenever things get to be too bad, too painful, too much, I’ll make it through just fine and then some. And whenever things are going swimmingly, I’ll enjoy the moment that much more for taking time out to pause and smell the proverbial roses.  

Although you don’t technically need a definition for this one, you’re getting one (*nerd alert*):

breathe

 

[brēT͟H]

 

verb 

• take air into the lungs and then expel it, especially as a regular physiological process:

inhale · exhale · draw breath 

 

Inhale *smile* exhale *smile* (you got this)!

 

• be alive; remain living 

Oh, to be alive, truly alive! Breathing in the pine-scented, snowy winter air! Yay! (And remain living? Um, yes, please.) 

 

• (of wine) be exposed to fresh air:

Um… Wine? Hell to the yes! Breathe with me, Red. Let’s enjoy the evening together. 🍷

 

Whether it’s yoga, Pranayama *, box breathing, or a simple inhale/exhale, it’s all good. 

Here’s my quote of 2023: “When life gives you lemons, use them for garnish in the mulled wine after you’ve opened a bottle of red and both of you have breathed.” 🍷

Happy New Year, my friends. 💖 Here’s to your goals, aspirations, resolutions, or whatever floats your boat. Cheers! 🥂

 

Have you ever taken part in the One Word Challenge?

If you haven’t, why not try it? Or think on it a moment and leave one in the comments. What could your focus be this year? I’d love to hear what your One Word is for 2023.

My One Word for 2022 #OneWord2022

 

Over the holidays, I got a visit from… 

The Posts of New Year’s Past: 👻 🥳 🎊 🎉

 

One Word for 2021 was: Allow. This one was awesome. It worked SO well. I allowed ALL OF THE THINGS. I didn’t struggle, fight, flail, or falter. (My sarcasm didn’t translate well here. So, the only thing I allowed was badly-written sarcasm.) 

One Word for 2020 was: Focus. Focus on one thing at a time to avoid overwhelm? Fab plan, lady. Alas…

One Word for 2019 was: Move. Getting unstuck was sort of the idea. I’m still stuck but heartily sorry for it and flailing for a helping hand out of the pit.

One Word for 2018 was: Self. It was a good choice. It worked. A little. Some of the time. Not as often as I’d hoped.

One Word for 2017 was Accept. I did not accept anything. I sort of UN-accepted pretty much everything. I faltered. Failed. Moved on.

Like Scrooge, I have learned from these visits and mean to change my ways. I struggled with a word for this year but, once it popped into my head, I knew it was the one. I thought about it a few more days but, still, it stayed with me. It felt right. 

There are going to be a lot of changes and uncomfortable things happening this year. And here’s what I’m doing: I’m leaning into the discomfort in a big way. Embracing it. 

 

My focus word for 2022:

EMBRACE

It’s a bit like the “accept” and “allow” but giving myself more of an active role. 

Instead of just breathing (breathing is good, don’t get me wrong) and going with the flow (flowing is also good), I’m creating a situation where I must act in order to allow and accept.

 

As always, a definition (*nerd alert*):

embrace

 

[əmˈbrās]

 

verb 

 

• hold…closely in one’s arms, especially as a sign of affection

hug · take in one’s arms · hold · enfold · encircle · enclose

 

Challenges? Hardships? Change? I’ve got a hug for you here!

 

• accept or support willingly and enthusiastically

welcome · accept · receive enthusiastically/wholeheartedly · take to one’s heart · welcome/receive with open arms · support 

 

Upset? Uncertainty? Welcome! Have a cup of cocoa. ☕

 

 

noun

 

• an act of accepting or supporting something willingly or enthusiastically.

welcome · welcoming · favorable reception · embracing · approval · adoption · integration

 

Hey there, change. What’s up, uncertainty? Welcome to my humble life. Let’s have a glass of wine. 🍷

 

When these things I cannot control come along, I won’t fight them. It’s exhausting and doesn’t make them go away. I’m not doing a great job passively accepting or allowing them. So, I will take them in my metaphorical arms and embrace them.

It’s tough to welcome uncomfortable feelings and difficult situations but I’m hoping a more active role will help me with the whole accepting and allowing thing. I am choosing to DO something. You hear it a lot: “Embrace uncertainty.” “Embrace chaos.” “Embrace change.” And it sounds good in theory…let’s see if I can put that into practice. 

Here’s my quote of 2022: “If you can’t control it, invite it in for a cuppa.” 

 

Happy New Year, my friends. 💖 Here’s to your goals, aspirations, resolutions, or whatever floats your boat. Cheers! 🥂

 

Have you ever taken part in the One Word Challenge?

If you haven’t, why not try it? Or think on it a moment and leave one in the comments. What could your focus be this year? I’d love to hear what your One Word is for 2022.

My One Word for 2021 #OneWord2021

 

I’ve been participating in One Word since 2017. Wow. Five years.

This quote from 2018 says it all:

Every year around this time I say, “It’s going to be different.” Well, gentle readers, it’s not. It’s quite the same. Which is to say, I let myself get caught up in a shitstorm of stress and overwhelm by choosing others instead of myself, by over-committing, by working too hard on things that don’t bring fulfillment or happiness, by helping everyone but me.

I’m feeling a bit like Scrooge. Another year? Another One Word? Bah! Humbug.

And so, of course, I was in for a visit from… 👻 🎊🎉

The Posts of New Year’s Past:

 

One Word for 2020 was: Focus. Focus on one thing at a time to avoid overwhelm? Fab plan, lady. Alas…

One Word for 2019 was: Move. Getting unstuck was sort of the idea. I’m still stuck but heartily sorry for it and flailing for a helping hand out of the pit.

One Word for 2018 was: Self. It was a good choice. It worked. A little. Some of the time. Not as often as I’d hoped.

One Word for 2017 was Accept. I did not accept anything. I sort of UN-accepted pretty much everything. I faltered. Failed. Moved on.

 

What I’ve learned from these Posts of New Year’s Past is I’m trying to be positive, providing some word to nurture, encourage, help… That’s lovely, but something was pulling me away from that. 2020 was a tough year. For many people. For many reasons. The celebration of that year being over is everywhere.

I’m not celebrating. Not yet.

I decided I’m not going to force positivity on myself. Oh, I know I mean well but, hell, things kind of suck at the moment, new year or not. Why not acknowledge the suckiness? And why force positivity when we all know that never works?

When you shove those negative feelings down, they resurface. Always. In one way or another, they bob up like a rubber duck in a tub.

So I’m going with a negative One Word this year.

Sort of.

I’m acknowledging the negativity that clouds my life and letting myself know it’s okay to not be okay about it.

My focus word for 2021:

ALLOW

With everything going on, I’m giving myself permission to feel however I need to feel. If I feel bad, that’s okay. If I feel sad, that’s okay. If I feel stressed, angry, or hurt, that’s okay.

No guilt. No “should”. None of that nonsense.

I’m allowed to feel however I feel.

If I happen to feel good, or even happy, that’s allowed, too. So, yay.

As always, a definition (*nerd alert*):

allow

[əˈlou]

verb 

• give (someone) permission to do something.

grant someone the right · give one’s blessing to · approve of · give the go-ahead to · give the thumbs up to · give the OK to · give the green light to

I’ve got the green light here, my friends. The go-ahead. The thumbs-up. I’ve been granted the right and given a blessing. What else could I ask for?

• give the necessary time or opportunity for.

Time and opportunity to feel. I guess that’s what else I could have asked for. *shrugs* Got it.

• admit (an event or activity) as legal or acceptable.

My feelings are hereby legal and acceptable. Right on.

I’m allowing myself to feel however the hell I feel without the dreaded “should” and “shouldn’t”. And without guilt. I’m allowing my feelings to break free of that self-imposed New Year’s cocoon of positivity, emerging in whatever shape, size, and color they are. If I feel angry, well, The Hulk and I can hang out for a bit. If I feel sad, so be it. If I happen to feel happy, it’s going to be a genuine bubbling glass of joy.

 

Happy New Year, my friends. ❤ Here’s to your goals, aspirations, resolutions, or whatever floats your boat. Cheers! 🥂

 

Have you ever taken part in the One Word Challenge?

If you haven’t, why not try it? Or think on it a moment and leave one in the comments. What could your focus be this year? I’d love to hear what your One Word is for 2021.

10 Perks (For Me) During This Pandemic

 

source

 

1. The gift of distance. 

People are finally staying as far away from me as I’d like them to. I am loving the social distancing thing. Personal space, for me, is 4 feet…minimum.   

2. It’s the small stuff that stings. 

You know what they say about small stuff hurting a lot more than you’d think? Like a paper cut? Those things are tiny but pack a wallop of pain. Same goes for small talk. Painful. Something I could happily do without. And now, I can! And I am! And it’s not weird. Everyone is partaking in the skipping of small talk in exchange for a distant wave. Woot!

3. Hand-washing. 

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in a public restroom and seen someone emerge from a stall and walk out the door. Holy crap (pun intended). You’ve got germs and dirt and…human waste on your hands and you’re headed to sit down and grab a dinner roll? Dude.

Now people are washing their hands. With water. And soap. And they’re doing it a lot. Shiny, clean fingers crossed this practice stays in effect long past the pandemic.

4. Do. Not. Engage. 

Strangers are not speaking to me or asking me things or trying to engage me in conversation. (See #2.)

5. Tranquility in quarantine.

I’m an introvert. And not the cool kind we writers like to claim we are. I’m talking severe introversion. Like hermit status. So staying in isn’t torture for me. Quarantine is kind of the status quo around here. Except, now, it’s not eccentric, it’s expected. Rock on! (In the comfort of my own home, of course. Alone. With a book. And wine.)

6. The barren land of toilet paper shelves. 

I don’t waste time in the paper goods aisle anymore, my head swaying back and forth between quilted and two-ply, recycled and double-roll. (Why are there so many types of TP, anyway?) Unrelated: I’ve found a good use for printed political ads.

7. Express yourself. 

I’ve always prided myself on knowing people. Not having five hundred friends but knowing people. Catch my drift? I can spot a jerk from a mile away, have a built-in BS detector, and generally get a vibe from folks right off the bat. (Wow. That’s a boatload of clichés right there. Apologies. Let’s see if I can do some more…) Totally lost my train of thought. Damn clichés.

Oh, right. So with this mask thing, pegging people is a breeze. Are you donning a dust mask? Is Hello Kitty hiding your smile? Harry Potter? Lord of the Rings? (I may or may not have all of these.) You can tell a lot about a person by what they choose to wrap around their face. Whether you’re wearing a sports team, cartoon character, political crap, or a medical-grade surgical mask, you are making a statement. Own it.

8. Wild things. 

My lawn is patchy, dandelions are popping up, dead leaves from fall are collecting in every corner of my yard. Paint is peeling, shrubs need clipping, and NOT ONE of my neighbors is complaining to me about it. Bliss. *waves at neighbor* *trips over vole hole* *falls over* Peace out, y’all.

9. “Kkkhhxx… You’re breaking up…”

You know that old “trick” (I’m using quotes here as it never really tricks anyone) where you make a crackling noise into your cell phone and yell, “You’re breaking up–can’t hear you”? Then you hang up on the person pestering you, asking for a favor, or saying that, no, your new haircut does not flatter your face?

Now we get to do that constantly. Because we’re relying so much on technology, we can claim it isn’t working. So that day I didn’t shower and the day I wore my sushi pajamas, my video couldn’t connect. (How convenient.) But the audio worked. Weird, right? Wrong. I’ve been in many meetings where this happened to others so it’s all good. Plus, you get to play a little game with yourself trying to figure out if folks are telling the truth or just woke up late and are chilling in their underwear. Bonus!

10. Social distancing does not apply. 

I can hug trees. In public places. With people around. When they stare, I wave and shout, “Don’t have to social distance with trees!” 🙂🌲🌳

 

 

I’m not making light of Covid 19. This is serious. There is a global pandemic going on. I get it. I do. Don’t throw your non-latex gloves at me. I’m just trying to find a little fun during this time. Hope you are all healthy and safe. Stay sane, gentle readers. ❤️

 

 

My One Word for 2020 #OneWord2020

 

 

I was going to switch this up a bit for 2020 but guess what? I’m not. This is (unfortunately) perfect:

Every year around this time I say, “It’s going to be different.” Well, gentle readers, it’s not. It’s quite the same. Which is to say, I let myself get caught up in a shitstorm of stress and overwhelm by choosing others instead of myself, by over-committing, by working too hard on things that don’t bring fulfillment or happiness, by helping everyone but me.

One Word for 2019 was: Move. Seriously. Like Move Yer Arse, Girl! Or, you know, something nicer, like, Excuse me but would you mind moving? Same, same. Getting unstuck was sort of the idea.

I’m still stuck but heartily sorry for it and flailing for a helping hand out of the pit.

my One Word for 2018 was: Self. It was a good choice. It worked. Some of the time. Not as often as I’d hoped.

my One Word for 2017 was Accept. I did not accept anything. I sort of UN-accepted pretty much everything. I faltered. Failed. Moved on.

Well. Isn’t that something? And here we are again. Another year, another word. Let’s get on with it, shall we?

 

I’ve noticed my blog has its share of posts about overwhelm. Just a few, really, not, like, dozens. Ahem. So I got to thinking about being overwhelmed. Too much. Too many things. So, naturally, I need to make lists. And prioritize. That will work. Except for the times it doesn’t. Which is to say always. Or never. Whatever.

I’ve got to sort out my priorities. This is more important than that. That is more pressing than the other. Things get put on The List, shifted, knocked down a number, back up, and so forth and, soon enough, nothing is done.

So, instead of putting my life on a piece of paper in order of importance, I’m changing my mindset. (FYI, this is always, always, a good idea. You should try it.) I’ve always sucked at multi-tasking but I’m not sure that’s what this is anymore. I’m thinking it’s more that I’m utterly unfocused.

So here is my ironic focus word for 2020:

FOCUS

I was at a cemetery last month and grabbed my phone to take a picture.

When I tapped on the screen to focus on the little pinecone in my face, the gravestones blurred in the background. And vice versa. Right? Because whether it’s a mobile phone or a fancy camera, it cannot focus on more than one thing at a time.

I hadn’t written my One Word post yet but, there, right then, in that cemetery, I wrote it in my head.

I’m not prioritizing the pinecone over the gravestone. But if I try to focus on both of them, they’re both blurry and I don’t get either one. If I tap and zoom in on one, I get an amazing shot. Then, *tap*, another great shot. Done.

Obviously, there will be times when something will demand my focus be drawn to that issue or situation but I will focus on it and move on.

If I’m constantly trying to focus on everything, then everything is out of focus.

Narrow my focus and, boom, I’ve got a clear shot.

As always, a definition (because I’m a nerd):

 

focus

/fōkəs/

noun

• the center of interest or activity.

center, focal point, center of attention

Get me a spotlight, man. I’m shining it on whatever shit needs attention. Laser focused, my friends. 

• the state or quality of having or producing clear visual definition.

clear, clear-cut, well-defined

Producing a well-defined, clear-cut visual? Please hold. Your patience is appreciated. The clear visual will be with you shortly. 

verb

• (of a person or their eyes) adapt to the prevailing level of light and become able to see clearly.

Seeing clearly? Yes, please. Adapting and becoming able to see clearly are HUGE challenges for me. Two great goals.  

• pay particular attention to.

give emphasis to, highlight

Dude, this makes me want to whip out one of those big, neon yellow markers and highlight the hell out of the book of my life. On it!

 

I’m going to focus this year. I know I said this last year but 2020 will see another book from me. The manuscripts are sitting here glaring at me. They are more patient than I.

Happy New Year, my friends. ❤ Here’s to your goals, aspirations, resolutions, or whatever floats your boat. Cheers! 🥂

 

Have you ever taken part in the One Word Challenge?

If you haven’t, why not try it? Or think on it a moment and leave one in the comments. What could your focus be this year? I’d love to hear what your One Word is for 2020.

 

When the Year Grows Old

 

Edna St. Vincent Millay

 

When the Year Grows Old

And often when the brown leaves
Were brittle on the ground,
And the wind in the chimney
Made a melancholy sound,

She had a look about her
That I wish I could forget–
The look of a scared thing
Sitting in a net…

But the roaring of the fire,
And the warmth of fur,
And the boiling of the kettle
Were beautiful to her…

~ Edna St. Vincent Millay

 

The year has grown old, died, and been reborn. It is ‘new’. There are beginnings. Yet I acutely feel the year growing old.

When the clock struck midnight December 31^st, when the calendar ceased to count days for 2019…what happened?

Nothing.

It’s as if I’m waiting for some unknown force to press the ‘reset’ button.

As I work on my One Word for 2020, I realize I’m stuck. Not in my decision of which word to choose but in the way I feel caught at the end of last year. In a time when I listened to the wind whistling a melancholy tune and brittle leaves scraped the window panes, begging to be let inside.

When I had the look of a frightened bird flapping helplessly inside a net.

Yet there is a difference. The trap has weakened, loosened. I can breathe.

I find familiarity in the world around me and there is comfort and beauty in that. In the moments when I take that first sip of coffee, tie my hair up with an elastic band, lace my warm, winter boots. When I lose myself in sunlight creating intricate patterns on my floor or notice wind catching a hydrangea flower hidden since last spring.

Sometimes, when the stress is too much, when the weight is too heavy, when the ropes are too tight, our struggles increase the pain. Sometimes relaxing into the discomfort and fear is all we can do and, sometimes, that shifts our world enough to see the beauty.

 

Health and happiness to you, gentle readers. ❤