leaves

There’s a tree outside my bedroom window with one leaf on it.

This one leaf will not let go.

I mentioned I was on a journey to find my true colors. No longer hidden by green chlorophyll, this leaf found its color. It’s red.

But it’s not letting go.

Every morning, I see this stubborn autumn leaf. It hangs on, clinging to a thin branch.

I check on it after rain, after heavy winds—and there it is. Still on its tree in mid-December.

I said I was a leaf. I think I’m this one. The one that won’t let go.

Why am I holding on to who I was?

People change. Priorities change. Experiences shape and reshape us. Why do we resist?

Is it difficult to accept? Do we become complacent? Are we uncomfortable admitting we are not who we thought we were?

I’m thinking all of these are rooted in fear.

So, while I’ve found some of my true colors, I’m finding it difficult to let go.

A friend asked me why I continue thinking of myself as a woman I clearly no longer am. I didn’t have an answer.

But now I know that I am afraid.

My Sunday thoughts in 200 words or less.

Do you have difficulty letting go of who you were? Why? What is stopping you from moving on?

When I was little, I thought leaves were green.

Of course, they’re not.

The chlorophyll, which has been covering their color, is fading. Soon, the maple leaves will be candy-apple red. Oaks will darken into deep purple, bright orange, or brown. Elms and birches will turn mustard yellow.

It’s amazing watching the leaves change. They show us their true colors then they drift down from their branches.

We go for a walk and see edges losing chlorophyll. On our next walk, the leaves have more of their natural pigment. “Look at me! I’m orange!” They let me take pictures, those patient leaves, before letting go. We find them in the grass the following week, pick them up, bring them home and give them a place of honor in our mini-pumpkin pile.

I’ve always loved autumn.

This year, though, for the first time, I realize I’m a leaf. I thought I was green but that was just hiding my true colors. What are they? I’m not sure. But I’m ready to find out.

My Sunday thoughts in 200 words or less.

Do you ever wonder who you are underneath? Have you ever thought that the roles you play in life might be your chlorophyll? If you showed your true colors to the world, what would happen?