The Scrooge of New Year’s Day

 

bah-humbug-2016-sig

 

I don’t do New Year’s resolutions.

For January 1st, I’ve never quit smoking, gone on a diet, bought a gym membership, or sworn to save money.

When this holiday rolls around, I don’t sit and reflect. I barely give a thought to the past year except to say, “Huh. That sucked. Hope next year is better.”

And it isn’t.

It carries over our current problems because they can’t be magically fixed overnight. It also delivers a whole host of new and different problems. So that’s exciting.

But that’s life, isn’t it?

We have our ups and downs. All of us. And some things are out of our control.

I will not set myself up to “fix” something I can’t fix or to “start” something I can’t start. If I make a resolution to lose weight or exercise when my health prohibits it at the moment, I’m setting myself up for failure and inevitable misery. Wonderful way to start the year.

The thing is, as I said in 2014, I feel pressured to look back over my year and write something meaningful. I simply don’t want to.

So I will do what I always do. Which is to say that I will be aware. Of my life, my actions, my reactions…everything. I will learn new things, set goals, better myself, and change what’s not working. I will try to make my life more positive. And I will do this throughout the year, not just the first few weeks in January.

I will ring in the New Year on December 31st but I will check in with myself all year.

 

Happy New Year, gentle readers.

 

My Sunday thoughts in (a wee bit over) 200 words.

ThoughtBubble

Do you make New Year’s resolutions? Do you stick to them? (Let’s be honest…are they even realistic?)

 

Something new I’m doing this year is choosing a word: One Word. Something to focus on for the upcoming year. Look for my choice in next week’s post. It’s a fantastic alternative to resolutions.

 

This post from last year (The Scrooge of New Year’s Eve) really sums up how I feel about this holiday. I planned to repost it verbatim but wound up editing it quite a bit. Perhaps a fun challenge could be to see how accurate this post is each year. ?

 

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Dream a Little Dream for Me

 

I stopped in the middle of my New Year’s Eve walk to take in this moment—the sun setting on December 31st, 2015.

 

new years eve sunset - sig

 

I stood on the path and thought about my recent posts. I’ve been talking a lot about true colors, my identity crisis, and letting go.

I reread these past few pieces and saw a theme: I’m unhappy with how I perceive myself and how I’ve presented myself to the world.

I had limited space to write a bio about who I am and what did I put in that profile? “Mum. Lifestyle Writer.” Really? That’s who I am? That’s not who I want to be.

And so the sun sets on my old life. It’s bittersweet.

I know I’m supposed to be optimistic in the beginning of January with everything I’m going to accomplish for the New Year. But, as I said in my Scrooge post, I don’t make resolutions.

I do, however, set goals for myself throughout the year.

Have you ever considered quitting to be a goal?

I know the definition of “quit”. I know the connotation of it, as well. (I love turning connotations on their heads.) Quitting is considered bad, something you shouldn’t do.

Ever thought about it in a positive way? Because, of course, we should quit bad habits. I’m all for quitting a job you hate. And, personally, I feel it’s an excellent decision to quit reading a book you’re not enjoying when there are so many good books out there.

What happens when you realize that a dream you’ve harbored for over thirty years isn’t working? When you finally realize that you’re not very good at it? Do you hold on for dear life to that one dream or let it go so you have a chance to discover something else you like that you might actually be good at?

You’ve always wanted to be a ballerina and have worked your whole life to get the lead in The Nutcracker but you’ve only ever been able to get a part as one of the Mouse King’s minions.

There has to be a time when quitting isn’t bad but actually the best thing you can do for yourself. And that time for me is now.

I’m quitting writing.

I don’t enjoy the type of writing I’m doing and had made a decision to switch genres from nonfiction to fiction.

And that was when I had a painful realization… I suck at writing fiction.

I have nothing waiting for me to fill the emptiness where my dream used to be. But I’ve never been one to wait until something better comes along. I will bury my dream. Or, if it sounds better, I will let go of my dream and watch it sail away on the breeze.

People have lots to say about quitting:

“Losers quit when they fail. Winners fail until they succeed.”

“You just need to try harder.”

“Quitting is not an option.”

“You’re taking the easy way out.”

Easy? Have you ever willingly given up your dream? It’s excruciating.

I’ll continue my blog. It’s a tiny thing, yes, but without being able to write my little Thought Bubbles I’d burst. Get it? Burst my bubble? That was fun. So, yes, I will continue that outlet for my creative longings and hope that is enough.

I’m jumping off the cliff of my dream that I have stood on since I was 9 years old. It’s scary. I might fall. But I might fly.

 

Have you ever given up on your dream? Why? Did something happen to prevent you doing it or did you decide? Was it a specific age (turning 30, 40, 50) or an event in your life? Did you find something you loved after you gave up your dream?

 

Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you — Doris Day

The Scrooge of New Year’s Eve

 

I don’t do New Year’s resolutions.

 

Bah Humbug - sig

 

For January 1st, I’ve never quit smoking, gone on a diet, bought a gym membership, or sworn to save money.

 

I live in my head; I think about stuff all the time. Why do I need a day to tell me to think about more stuff? And all at once?

I try to learn new things, better myself, and change what’s not working. When this holiday rolls around, I don’t sit and reflect—I barely give a thought to the past year except to say, “Huh. That sucked. Hope next year is better.”

And it isn’t.

It delivers a whole host of new and different problems. So that’s exciting.

But that’s life, isn’t it?

The thing is, like I said last year, I feel pressured to look back over my year and write something meaningful but I simply don’t want to.

What I’d like to do is drink some wine (or Baileys or beer—I’m not picky), watch It’s a Wonderful Life (I know, the irony is delicious), and eat sushi.

So here’s to sitting in front of a movie, drinking, eating, and writing ‘2015’ on all my documents for a few months.

 

Happy New Year, gentle readers. 🎉

 

My Sunday thoughts in 200 words or less.

ThoughtBubble

 

Do you make New Year’s resolutions? Do you stick to them? (Let’s be honest…are they even realistic?)