…Not As I Do

 

ThoughtBubbleI love wine.

Beer and coffee, too. Oh, and salt. I especially love those sea salts and rock salts from around the world. But I digress. These are grown-up things. When my kids ask if they can try coffee, I say “no”. When they ask if they can grind some pink Himalayan salt on their mac-and-cheese, I say “no”.

Why? Because too much salt is bad for you. Why do I use so much salt? Because it’s yummy… But that’s not the point. What is the point? Wait, what was I saying? Do as I say, not as I do.

I was thinking about this the other day—how unfair it all was.

Is it really, though?

I know parents who strive to set a good example, saying, “We don’t eat salt in this house” or “We don’t drink alcohol in this house” and I’m sure their children benefit from having such great role models.

Meanwhile, my kids get stuck with a mum who drinks beer and wine and coffee and uses too much salt. But, hey, I also drive. Because I’m a grown-up.

I missed the frickin’ memo about not being allowed to tell your kids they’re too young.

 

My Sunday thoughts in 200 words or less.

 

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23 thoughts on “…Not As I Do

  1. I’m with you on the adult indulgences; not the booze, gave that up in 1989 but yes to the rest. Plus cake. Can’t do without cake. And tea, especially first thing. The only thing about denying the little treasure(s) a taste is it becomes forbidden fruit. Let them try coffee and they’ll hate it; ditto booze. Ditto ciggies were you to be a fag family. Puts them off for ages. Salt is different. No idea how to combat that one.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ah, yes, vices. When the kids were in elementary school we shared a pot of tea for breakfast, I dropped them off and got a cup of coffee on my way to college classes. After college (mine, not theirs) we moved to Minnesota. I started letting them have coffee au lai (3/4 steamed milk, topped with coffee). By high school, the four of us (three teens and me) went to Starbucks several times a week. I loved that time with my kids–bonding as we stood in line eagerly awaiting our shared love of caffeine. When it comes to salt, I use “Real Salt” or sea salt. It’s not as bad as the Mortons chemicalized crap or the MSG masquerading in processed products as “natural flavoring.” My kids grew up with a food snob (me: organic, non-processed, local, fair trade, artisan) who loves to eat and drink. They turned out fine! Oh, and wine was something they were allowed to have at holiday meals. They didn’t go nuts when they were on their own because they did get to try things and it wasn’t a big deal. My eldest doesn’t drink coffee at all; my middle child is just like her mum; and my youngest still likes steamers even though he’s a research grad student. Hot milk for him. 🙂 Boundaries are good to teach. Moderation is good, too. Extremes tend to backfire.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Of course it doesn’t always work this way, but you and Geoff have both mentioned the forbidden fruit syndrome. When I was in college, the kids who went wild were usually the ones who were “good kids” in high school.

      Now that you mention it, I haven’t had table salt in years. I love sea salt. Unfortunately, we eat crapola here. Too much processed food (which, among other things, is loaded with sodium). Talk about being a role model–my kids think you cook by pushing buttons on the microwave. I am seriously running out of room for all my “Mother of the Year” badges.

      Extremes do tend to backfire. Even the well-intentioned ones. Are there well-intentioned extremes? Can there be? I mean true, deep down, take-a-good-look-at-your-motives extremes. I’m forming another Thought Bubble here…

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Oooh I like that, Because I am a grown up. I might have to use that one too. My kids get stuck with the, Because I said so! And, Because I’m your mother and I get to make up my own rules.

    A good example would be showing your kids that moderation is the key, not banning salt and alcohol from the house. Trying to raise well rounded, intelligent, non-crazy kids from childhood to adulthood is hard enough, don’t take away mummy’s beer! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hahaha! We are trying to raise well-rounded, intelligent, non-crazy kids here, people! Don’t take away Mum’s beer! Oh, the horror! 😀

      When I was little, I was told quite simply that children don’t get to do some stuff adults do. Period. And it made sense to me. I do want to be a role model for my kids but I don’t think I could ban things I love in order to do that. You’re right. Moderation is a perfect way to be a good example.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Of course you can. (And you did.) 🙂 Moderation seems to be winning here in the comments. It’s quite sensible, in my humble opinion. Like Charli said, extremes can backfire.

      And I sure will enjoy my wine. I can’t remember the last time someone said that to me. Just a simple “Enjoy your wine”. I’m going to have some with dinner and remember that you said that. Thank you.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I’ve been drinking coffee since I was a toddler. I grew up in a mostly traditional Puerto Rican home, and it was the norm. I never gave it a second thought until I mentioned it to an elementary school teacher, who corrected me and told me I must have meant hot cocoa.

    Liked by 1 person

    • The “norm” for children is definitely how they are brought up. Until they start visiting friends’ houses or, in your case, going to school. 😀 Hot cocoa. That must have been confusing for you.

      Like

  5. So with you here. Adults and children–different people. Who get to do different things. When I explain to my kids that they can’t have my coffee, I’m setting limits and teaching them a valuable lesson. See? Coffee: not just an addiction, but a useful parenting tool. Cheers.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Right? They get to do different things. I didn’t have an issue with this when my parents said it–I was a kid. Kids aren’t allowed to do certain things.

      Excellent. Coffee = parenting tool. Love it.

      Like

  6. I think the idea of forbidden fruit only carries you so far. You know how when kids are at a certain age, they love to “help” you with whatever you’re doing? They grow out of that pretty quick, as soon as they realize that chores are just chores. It’s the same thing with other grown-up stuff – you might be able to influence them for a while, but sooner or later they’re going to want to do the things that are fun, and avoid those that aren’t. In the meantime, you’re the grown-up, and you make the rules!

    Liked by 1 person

    • My kids are young but, when they get a bit older, I don’t want there to be any forbidden fruit (within reason) for them. The comments keep heading back to moderation and I think that’s important. In the meantime, yup, I make the rules. And, honestly, I have two great kids. It’s when we go out or over other peoples’ homes… I think that’s another Thought Bubble. 🙂

      P.S. It only takes twice as long now when they “help”.

      Liked by 1 person

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