Mother of the Year Award Goes To…

 

I’ve been tagged by Irene Waters to tell some secrets. I don’t gossip so these will be about me. And since I’ve already written a things-you-don’t-know-about-me post last year, I’m going to make this a confessions post. Because people love to read confessions. They do.

So, as mother of the year, I’ll start with the fact that I have never baked cookies with my children. In fact, I have never baked anything with them. My poor little boys. I’ve never let them roll dough with that neat wooden rolling thingy with the handles on the side or squish dough with their hands. Do I think they’ll make a mess? Is my OCD acting up imagining flour on the floor and egg yolks on the counter? Um. Maybe. The point is, I’ve never baked anything that wasn’t from an Easy-Bake Oven.

Since we’re on food and kitchens and stoves and stuff, I’ll let you all know another secret that helped me win this prestigious award: I don’t cook meals for my children. My children do eat and I do spend a lot of time in the kitchen but I’m usually cleaning, not cooking. It would be more accurate to say that I prepare meals. You know, washing fruit, cutting fruit, opening jars of peanut butter, containers of yogurt, and boxes of graham crackers, making sandwiches, microwaving, that sort of thing. I have no excuse. Well, I have lots of excuses but I won’t bore you with them. You’re welcome. I will say that I cooked more for my cat (he loved salmon and rice the best) than I have for my kids.

Out of the frying pan, into the fire. Let’s scoot out of the kitchen and head over to the living room where my family loves playing games—board games, cards, dice, whatever. After a game, I trick my kids into counting my points claiming it’s a “teaching moment”. In reality, at six and eight years old, my kids counted faster (and more accurately) than I did. Sometimes I won, though, so there’s that.

Speaking of winning… Actually this has nothing to do with winning. It’s about sharing. I have sharing issues. I like books. I love books. My books. My precious… And I read a lot of MG and YA novels so, sometimes, my children ask to *gulp* borrow my books. I don’t let my children read my books. My younger son could read a book three times and it would look like we just bought it so I’m a little more likely to let him borrow. My older son will take a beautiful copy of Harry Potter and return it with torn pages, the spine broken in seven places, and goodness-knows-what (I don’t want to know) smeared on the front cover. The back cover may or may not still be there. If it’s a special book, one that belonged to my grandmother or that I wrote a message in for them as babies, I make them lend the book from the library—the exact one that is already right here in my hot little hands.

Moving on to the last, but certainly not least, secret that I believe put me over the top. I can’t stand the sound of my children laughing. After a day of bickering, complaining, whining, and arguing, I’m done. Also, my boys are fond of making random noises for some reason. Just…noises. All. Day. Long. Around four in the afternoon, I’m ready for some giant, fluffy earmuffs. Then it is dinner and bedtime. At this point, giggles, guffaws, and laughter simply sound like more noise. And for some reason, kids feel the need to laugh loudly. Just more noise to add to the echoes of all the other noise bouncing around my skull and making me want to run screaming (very quietly) from the house.

And those are five reasons I won this award. That I gave to myself. Now. I will mention five other people here who will, if you’re lucky, spill some secrets of their own. But, whether they do or not, you should check them out. Because they’re awesome.

To the five marvelous bloggy people I am tagging: time to tell some secrets. Or not. I am giving you a compliment, not the flu.

 

Georgia Bell

Author of Unbound, the first book in her YA trilogy All Good Things. Amazing flasher (writer of amazing flash fiction—because flashing might be chilly in Canada). Wine-drinker. Scotch-drinker. Chocolate-eater. Doppelgänger with a damn good sense of humor. Or is it humour?

Robin Flanigan

Author, blogger, award-winning freelance writer. Yoga-loving inspiration. (I know you cringed at my aforementioned eating habits but do remember I’m with you on the meditation, yoga, balance, mindfulness. I am but a young grasshopper. Old-ish grasshopper.)

Amy Good

Author of Rooted. Creator of Friday Phrases (microfiction on Twitter), Story Bandit (writing dares), co-creator of Rewriting MarySue, how-does-she-do-it-all beauteous red-haired remarkable woman.

Sherri Matthews

Blogger, memoirist, poet, photographer, robin-inspired lover-of-life and one of the loveliest ladies you eva shall meet. Truly.

Loni Townsend

Author of Thanmir War and newly-released fantasy This World Bites, the first book in her Cera Chronicles series.
Funny, witty, wonderful gal. Loni is made of awesome. That is all.

 

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34 thoughts on “Mother of the Year Award Goes To…

  1. Congratulations, Sarah … I think.
    Love this line I cooked more for my cat (he loved salmon and rice the best) than I have for my kids.
    I’ve been thinking for a while of doing a post on my reluctance to lend books – I’m a bit more confident now after reading about you not sharing your children’s books with your kids.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Another reluctant book-lender! Yes! You should definitely write about that — it fits in well with your blog. Plus, I want to hear about your reasons. Thanks for the congratulatory comment for my make-believe award. 😉 I really did cook for my cat. His favorite meals were teriyaki chicken and salmon with rice. Cats appreciate your cooking. Children want you to microwave mac-n-cheese.

      Like

      • We have a friend who has a special note book in which she notes who borrows any of her books and the condition they are in when lent. I’ve always thought she would be better off if she just refused to lend than nagging friends later. I got an earful when the Textiliste borrowed When I Go To Sleep and I read it in my Mano a Mano way and it went back a cripple.

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  2. I loved this!! Your poor pitiful children, hehehe.
    Your number five, thank you for that one. I thought this was just me who, after hours of mind numbing noise making that even laughter begins to imitate scratching of a chalkboard.
    This was a brilliant post!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks! I thought you might relate to this. Ah. #5 Yes, after many, many hours of noise-noise-noise-noise, all the sounds just start blending together…

      Truth be told, one of my kids has a giggle so sweet that, when he laughs, you can NOT help laughing, too. It’s infectious happiness. (That is, when he and his brother aren’t fake-laughing or scream-laughing. HAHAHAHA!!! What is that? Why children? Why?!)

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Hee, hee (you can’t hear me laughing, lucky you)! Actually it’s very common for parents these days to be food preparers and my former organization thanks you! Grocery store delis, prepped produce and the frozen food categories would all like to sponsor your award! And in a weird side note, while all the retail customers are seeking ways to assemble dinner like it rolled onto the plate from the latest foodie show on cable, they are also all cooking for cats and dogs. I know your demographic! 🙂 Fun post!

    Liked by 4 people

    • I know. A lot of parents prepare meals. I guess it’s not a big secret. 😉 My husband loves cooking but he has very little time to do it. Plus, we have special issues around eating here so it’s difficult to cook things everyone can eat. That is funny but, honestly, not surprising that they are cooking for cats and dogs. These are furchildren. 🐱 ❤

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  4. Haha – I’m glad I put you on the spot and found out these secrets of yours. You’re right – we love confessions. I can understand cooking for the cat more than you have for your kids having cooked two meals in my married life and less in my single one. I wouldn’t lend my books either – let the library suffer the broken spines. The laughter, maybe over the top but hey, what do I know living in a house with no noise. I can’t stand the sound of a barking dog and when my nephews come it seems as though the noise will never end. Great post Sarah.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Two meals in your married life and less in your single one? LOL! That’s awesome. I cooked more when I was single. Well, when I was a cat-mom. More book-lending support. This just gets better and better. The laughter… Well, it’s true. But I wrote this for the funny factor. It’s really only true when all the stars are in alignment (or out of alignment?), I had a long and/or difficult day, we’ve been cooped up inside together, the boys have been arguing with each other, and they’ve been making loud, random noises all day. Most of the time, I absolutely love the sound of them laughing. But that’s not a secret. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Cooking is a luxury that I do enjoy from time to time.
    It’s interesting the different ways your children handle books. Both of my children handled books lovingly so I coped very well. I was hoping, when I collected books for my “library” that possibly my children and their children would browse the shelves and find something of interest for them to read. But that is not the case. Our interests are different. Soon, but not too soon, it will be time to dismantle the shelves and ship the books off to find some interested readers. It will be sad to see them go.
    You do make the most interesting reflections! Thanks for sharing. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • The thought of you dismantling your bookshelves and giving books away that you have saved for years is making my teary. We give books away quite a bit, actually, but not “special” ones I’ve saved. I hope my children want those ones. :-/

      Liked by 1 person

      • How lovely that you share the joy of reading by giving away books that you have “outgrown”. I have quite a few that will now fit that category. I don’t feel sad about it any more and look forward to them going to a “good” home. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Haha..you know what I’m laughing about the loudest? ‘My precious….’ Oh the image you conjure up for me Sarah is absolutely priceless! I just love your honesty and the way you write about your life and well, everything. Thanks so much for tagging me and saying such lovely things. I’m blushing now… but I wonder what I can tell? We must be on the same wavelength, I just tagged you for a My Workspace Blog Hop…witih a few secrets revealed over there. Althought don’t get excited, they aren’t exactly thrilling, ha! Here’s the link: http://sherrimatthewsblog.com/2015/02/06/my-workspace-blog-hop-secrets-of-the-summerhouse-revealed/
    I’ll see what I can drum up for your post and will let you know when it’s ready. Oh and I know what you mean about that noise, it’s crazy what gets us isn’t it? After a long, tiring day…in fact you’ve reminded me of a story I’ve been meaning to blog about on that subject. Something to do with Denny’s, some parsely and me losing it on the way home. Oh the joys… Sarah, I can soooooooo relate is all I’m saying. Have a great weekend, catch up soon 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Sherri. I so enjoy making fun of myself (and making light of difficult situations). Life can be so harsh, I have to laugh or I’ll go bonkers. I meant what I said about you, lovely lady. ❤ Oh, and I saw your workplace post! I can just picture you in that charming, little space. Thanks for tagging me. I shall have to think about that one. It is so interesting to me to see where people write and what they choose to surround themselves with while writing.

      I simply can not wait to read about parsley and a diner and you losing it. Really. That should be a spectacular post.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Haha…oh Sarah, you make me laugh. I will write it especially for you, that’s a promise 🙂 Even now the kids, all grown, say ‘remember the parsley incident!’ It’s great that you see the funny in every day life, it’s what’s kept me sane all these years that’s for sure. One of the best times I have in life is when I’m with my kids and hubby and something sparks off and we fall about laughing. The best times. It’s times like that I think, yep, I did something right. Laughter really is the best medicine! Have a lovely, laughter-filled weekend Sarah (and thanks again for tagging me!) 😀 ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Love this! I did a similar post where I wrote about supermom stuff I don’t do (like take professional family photos or craft). But here’s where we’re opposite: I cook every day! But I like it though 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. It only took me two weeks to comment. Not bad, given my shit organizational abilities these days (I say with loving self-kindness). I don’t cook either. Or grocery shop. When I compliment other people’s cooking they try to give me recipes and my eyes glaze over. It’s so very reassuring to hear your secrets. They are secrets we all can share.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Haha! 😀 The eyes glazing over. Yes. Mix what with what now? Then dice, stir, and…yes, I’d love a beer. I’ll add a #6 here that I don’t grocery shop, either. I try to delegate that particular errand. And I have no organizational skills so you’re ahead of me there.

      Seriously, It’s always nice to hear other people admit they’re not perfect parents. ❤

      Like

  9. Pingback: Things About Me - Squirrel Talk

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