Without Apologies

 

blue-sky-clouds-and-trees-sig

 

If you miss one or two of my blog posts, I will not accept your apology.

People comment, email, and DM to apologize for not visiting my blog or doing so a week or more after I’ve posted.

For the love of all that is covered in chocolate, please stop.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s very sweet (the chocolate and your apology). And I’ll admit I’ve done this myself to fellow bloggers.

Of course I like seeing you here but, if you can’t make it, it’s all good.

If I don’t see you for a long while, I might inquire. But, if I do, it’s out of curiosity or concern not anger or upset.

Every once in a while (or more often), we get overwhelmed in the blogging world. We can’t keep up. Either with writing our own posts, reading others’ posts, commenting, or replying to comments.

It’s. All. Good.

Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

I don’t know how many times I’ve blogged about this but I don’t care. I’ll blog it again. I’m a broken record. Whatever.

I do not believe blogging should be a source of stress in people’s lives. And, yes, we are people. With lives. Outside the bloody internet.

Sometimes, we can’t catch up and need to rid ourselves of guilt and empty our inbox. I think we’ve all been there. Or most of us, anyway.

I will not tell you that you’re doing something wrong or not doing enough.

I won’t.

You’re good. Just like that.

But I also will not tell you you’re wrong for wanting to be everywhere and do everything. Sometimes, we do this to ourselves.

So, if you really feel the need, you could pop over here and leave a smiley face and I’ll know you were drowning in notifications. Then I could save you, you know? It’d be a secret code or something.

I’ll drop by your blog and leave you a life vest.

 

 

I’m not even going to ask.

If you’re overwhelmed, stressed, falling behind in the blogging world…take a breath, empty your inbox, and throw away the guilt. If people get upset about you missing a couple of their posts or not replying to their comment…well… *shrugs*

You’re all good here. Cheers, gentle readers.

 

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69 thoughts on “Without Apologies

  1. Wow, thank you for coming out and saying this. I don’t apologise for missing posts on blogs I follow, but I do feel bad about the notifications piling up in my inbox. Thanks for the reminder we should all cut ourselves some slack.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Sorry but I’m British to the core. We covered the planet in our troops. At school we learnt the 3 Rs: reading writing and regret. We apologised for being born. Add to that I’m a white male with a comfortable life and a baby boomer who spent everyone else’s money and of course I bloody apologise. It’s a defective gene like being tolerant of milk and leave voters. I’m sorry but I can’t help being sorry. Hope you understand. Oh and then there was what my mother said and… I think I might need help!

    Liked by 8 people

  3. 🙂

    Actually just doing my typical juggle fest. lol. Writing on the blog, doing the youtube / Instagram / Facebook / Twitter / Google+ dances lol. but one of these weeks I’ll go black again. It’s all fun and games but getting saturated also happens and it’s not like my job doesn’t demand several hours of focus. Still, we want to be omnipresent even if we follow 20 blogs and dozens of channels/accounts. For me it’s all about showing that I care and that it’s not just about my stuff. I do that for my peace of mind but later wonder how people who only indulge in self promotion have more followers, more reviews, and quite often, and to quote scientific data, SUCK.

    But that’s looking to the side while you’re running your race. You can never look to the side and need to have tunnel vision for what matters. For me, a comment is me investing in being a friend and not a dick, because we have plenty of those. Still, I do suspect I’ll be stock piling several things for my different social media platforms to leave things running “smoothly” while I focus on juggling less.

    Alas, when I’m busy I’m my happiest so here’s to happy juggling lol. Cheers and write on, dear friend.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’ll skip the juggling. Unless it’s eggs. For some reason I’ve always wanted to juggle eggs. It was a thing in so many bad movies and sitcoms. And I know I’d drop them and they’d make a satisfying cracking mess. Where was I? Juggling. NO.

      You? I don’t know how you do it. I do not know how you manage all that. It’s crazy-making just seeing all you’re doing. As far as the commenting and friendship thing goes, it’s the universe’s sick sense of humor that yours is the only comment I missed in this post. But, hey, I love ya and it’s only been a month… Pfft. No big deal. *cringes* (I am so sorry I missed this, JD.) O_o

      Like

  4. Reblogged this on The Write Stuff and commented:
    Just HAD to reblog Lemon Shark’s wonderful post this morning. How many of us know exactly what she’s talking about, yet we heap guilt upon our own heads when we think we’re falling short? *raising hand, here* Next time it starts to pile up, think about this, and know that in all honestly MOST of the people you follow would tell you the same thing. Thanks, Lemon Shark, for expressing it so eloquently. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you so much for the kind words and the share. I would hope most of our fellow bloggy friends would say the same thing. But, yes, we often try to do everything and heap guilt on ourselves. I’m going to try to stop that. #GuiltFreeBlogging 🙂

      Like

  5. Ah, Sarah, you made me laugh – although it’s a very serious and important post. Some time ago I unsubscribed from several blogs (maybe even yours), not for lack of interest but because I email issues that made deleting notifications extra time consuming (I don’t believe I’m making this up, but I can’t remember how it was) and didn’t resubscribe, so I miss loads of posts. Instead, when I have time (like now) I find the posts from blogs I like through twitter. That’s not to say I never feel bad about those I miss, but I don’t return from a couple of days away from the computer with a page full of notifications (to complement my page full of spam).

    Liked by 2 people

    • I laughed through at least half of this comment!

      I unsubscribed from a bunch of blogs, probably yours, and I think I’m remembering this correctly and not making anything up but… 😂

      Phew. Yes, I totally get it. I don’t know what was going on with your email but I understand the computer loaded with notifications. I can’t get to all the ones I receive weekly. Even if I didn’t have the lifestyle I do with two young children, it wouldn’t be possible.

      Liked by 2 people

  6. But what if I refuse to accept your refusal to accept my apologies? 🙂

    Actually, though I rarely (if ever) apologize for missing blogs. There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to visit everyone, as much as I want to, nor do I expect everyone else to read every word I write (I’ll be the first to admit they aren’t all prize winners). You are right. Keep it fun and visit when you can. No one likes feeling obligated.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Haha! Right? I say that often before I hit “publish” on my blogs. “Eh…they can’t all be gems.”

      No, there aren’t enough hours (though I just wrote a post about the fact that we all have the same amount… Hours, yes. Time, no.)

      You can refuse to accept my refusal. It’s all good. I’ll refuse your refusal. 😝 “No one likes to feel obligated.” Exactly. Trying to take my own advice. #GuiltFreeBlogging 🙂

      Like

  7. Thank you. Sometimes I feel I need permission Lol. I read blogs nightly and as more and more fills my inbox, I can’t even get to them all till sometimes a week after they are posted. I feel guilty when I miss posts from those I follow, but a big change will come in 2 weeks when I take a long awaited vacation, and for the first time on vacation, I won’t be reading blogs but taking in some much need R and R and time out, and reading books of plenty, a luxury I no longer have time to do at leisure. So thank you. And know if you don’t see me, I might very well be sucking back a margerita! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • I know. I’ve felt guilty when, weeks later, I delete notifications. It weighs on you. Then you have to step away and gain some perspective. I admit to apologizing and feeling that guilt. But I am only human. One person. With a lot of responsibilities. We do what we can. #GuiltFreeBlogging 🙂

      Debby…it makes me so incredibly happy to think of you relaxing, drinking a marguerita, and reading. I hope I DON’T see you here while you’re on vacation! Resist temptation! 🌸 Have an amazing time and I look forward to seeing you when you return.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Aw, thanks so much Sarah. You do know how much your words mean. 🙂 I know I won’t be blogging or reading blogs nightly, but I will check in with social media once a day, either very early mornings or late at night just to stay in touch. 🙂 ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      • Do what you feel comfortable with. Perhaps, once you’re actually there sipping a cocktail, you’ll want to unplug. Who knows? Whatever makes you happy, that’s what you do. 🌸🌼🌺 We’ll be here when you return. 💖

        Like

  8. Absolutely, totally, utterly agree. Why should someone translate someone’s absence online as a ‘slight’? Most of us are trying to fit 36 hours worth of daily life- with its ups and downs- in 24. Also, of course, it is lovely and reassuring that there is this sense of loyalty between bloggers, but I want to feel free to respond to a post that emotionally moves me to respond and not respond just because perhaps they responded to my post – though I know that is nice! Ultimately, I want a sense of authenticity, not a guilt-ridden response. But I think I’m in the minority here as the blogging world plays to a different, not so authentic fiddle. A great reminder. Thanks 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Yes. I just posted about those blasted hours in a day… It IS nice to visit another’s blog. You’re right. But we do what we can. And, like Allie commented, “no one likes to feel obligated”. Or stressed. I love your authentic response vs a guilt-ridden one. #GuiltFreeBlogging 🙂 (New hashtag.)

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Here, here! The number of blog posts or comments I’ve read that start off with the word ‘sorry’ and go on to apologise for either not posting on their own blogs, or for not leaving comments. This is supposed to be all about fun and enjoyment. Well, it’s just two of the reasons why I came here in the first place and I’m still having a great time. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Not all. Really, it’s mostly a lovely community. 🙂 I’m just obsessed with keeping blogging a low-stress activity.

      Also, some people post once a month while others post multiple times a day. Everyone has different amounts of time they can dedicate to the online world. I think we sometimes place stress on ourselves to keep up and it becomes impossible so you choose one blog over another. Hence, the guilt. we do what we can and no more can be expected. Welcome to the blogosphere. 🌼

      Liked by 1 person

  10. “If you miss one or two of my blog posts, I will not accept your apology.” <— What about 3? 🙂

    I suppose I view all my blogging relationships as casual. Hang out when we can and catch up when we we get the chance. Life happens. No need to apologize for that. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • 3? I’d need chocolate. Any more than that, some sort of cheese platter would be involved.

      Bloggers have varying degrees of seriousness (for lack of a better word) in regards to their blogs but “casual” is nice. Hanging out and catching up sounds lovely. Like we’re having a glass of wine (or Red Bull). Because, yes, life happens. And there is NO need to apologize for life.

      Like

  11. How fascinating to read through the cultural responses! When my eldest married 7 years ago, her new husband began to pinch her each time she apologized. She apologized for everything! Where did she get it? *Cue groaning* From me! Once I realized the habit I decided my SIL was right. What were we about, all this apologizing. Now, I rarely apologize unless it’s sincerely called for. No apologies from me! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am AWFUL with my “sorry for…” and “sorry about…” in all honesty. I apologize for everything. Crikey! I apologize for apologizing. I get it. I do. I don’t know why this is. Is it a gender thing? A generational thing? A geographical thing? I’ve no idea. But… I won’t have it on Lemon Shark. A lot of people are stressed out. *raises hand* So, I’ve adopted #GuiltFreeBlogging 🙂 I’m sure I’ll slip up from time to time but wanted others to know they can take me off their toppling “to do” list if they’re overwhelmed sans guilt. 🌼

      Liked by 1 person

      • I like the guilt free blogging idea! And I think it’s necessary to ourselves and others a break from expectations that we are always “on.” As far as why, apologizing seems ingrained with American women… I’m interested in why.

        Liked by 1 person

      • We need a break. Everyone needs a break at some point.

        I really don’t know why… I’m not sure it’s a gender or geographical thing. I really don’t know (except to say I have read that many more women apologize than men).

        Liked by 1 person

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