Damned If You Do, Damned If You Don’t



Do what you feel in your heart to be right β€” for you’ll be criticized anyway.

~ Eleanor Roosevelt



Truer words were never spoken.

Or perhaps they were. Regardless, these are up there in the top ten of How to Live Your Life.

Eleanor goes on to say that “you’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.” Hot damn! She’s right.

You can never please everyone. Let me just go ahead and say that again. You can never. Please. Everyone.

Stop trying.

I’m speaking to myself, of course, as I often always do on this blog but I believe these words fiercely.

I know I’m a good person so why don’t I just do what I feel in my heart to be right?

Worrying what others might think or how they may perceive what I do (or don’t do) is a terrible way to live. How people choose to see me is not in my control. (And really not my problem. Unless I make it my problem. Which we’ve just established it’s not.)

The bottom line here is that, yes, you’ll be damned if you do, damned if you don’t. So…

Do what you want. Dammit.


My Sunday thoughts in 200 words or less.


Have a lovely week, gentle readers!


33 thoughts on “Damned If You Do, Damned If You Don’t

  1. Intensely true words and people get to the point where they demand more and more from you. It’s unfair but to the eyes of the judger, it’s almost a surprise when you do your own thing. I work hard to make everyone happy and that often means leaving my stuff further down on the list. I still get my things done but sometimes I wouldn’t mind it being easier to get there. Cheers and here’s to instead a damn good time

    Liked by 1 person

    • Intensely true. Yes! And holy crap, yes, to those people who are surprised and/or offended when you do your own thing. It’s like… I have no words. So wrong. I’m a people-pleaser, too, but I hope to one day put “REFORMED PEOPLE-PLEASER” in my bio on Twitter. πŸ™‚ No more putting myself and my needs last. *fingers crossed* Cheers to a damn good time! 🍺


  2. Although you speak to yourself Sarah I can absolutely relate to what you are saying and I’m sure others can too. I’m in a bit of a “Should I? Shouldn’t I?” writing situation today and your words have helped. I’m just going to do what I damn well want! Not quite sure yet what that is, however…but I’ll keep thinking. Thanks for making me think. Juliet

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Eleanor Roosevelt was wise beyond words. One of my favorite of her quotes is, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

    Words to live by! πŸ™‚

    PS: I’m reading your book. I love your flash fiction. I’ll vlog about that at some point.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Yup. I read the book “The Four Agreements” years ago and the 2nd agreement is basically “don’t take things personally.” It explains that people’s opinions say more about them than they say about others, and same with our opinions – they are reflections of our understandings, our biases, and personal journeys. The 4th agreement is “always do your best.” If we make every effort to do our best, to be kind, genuine, honest, and compassionate, that about as good as it gets. – My opinion, of course. Ha ha.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I struggle greatly with being a people pleaser. On the social circuit. At my job. With my writing. I want people to like me so badly. I want to be accepted. I get paralyzed by the thought of rejection. And as much as I know it will happen, that doesn’t stop me from preventing it.

    I think if I fully lived my this mantra, my life would be so much easier. I would approach life with more confidence. I think I would gain more friends because they would see how genuine I can be.

    Liked by 1 person

    • This comment makes me so sad. Truly. I’m a people-pleaser, too, and I hate it. I’m trying to change that. I think it’s difficult for people who aren’t this way to understand how much of a challenge it is. But I do believe it’s damaging and I do believe we can change. I agree with you about life being easier if we lived this way. Not sometimes but all the time. That’s my aim, anyway. Doing what I feel in my heart is right REGARDLESS of what others think. Here’s to life getting easier. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Sadly, this need to please others is all too common. The reality is, most others don’t really give a damn what you do anyway, so it really doesn’t matter. In a similar vein, I know someone who doesn’t like to “impose” on others, but fails to see that, by not imposing on them, she’s grinding herself into the ground to the point that she’ll need others to look after her – now that’s what I call an imposition! Very often, by doing the “selfish” things, we actually do the best for everyone in the long run.
    Life is to be enjoyed. As long as it’s not at the expense of someone else, enjoy it!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hmm. You aren’t talking about me here, are you? “I know someone who doesn’t like to β€œimpose” on others, but fails to see that, by not imposing on them, she’s grinding herself into the ground to the point that she’ll need others to look after her…” I think you are right, my friend. Doing the selfish thing is usually the best thing for all involved…in the long run.


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